


Gotham in Winter

by entre_nous



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, I suppose, M/M, bcuz that's what a good former prodigal son does right, bookstore, dick is visiting for christmas, jason is a book hoarder, jason is a brooding lil robin too, jaydick, surprise surprise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:34:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6220264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entre_nous/pseuds/entre_nous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dick is visiting Gotham over Christmas break and tags along with Jason when he hits up a bunch of bookstores.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. books, coffee, and more books

**Author's Note:**

> could have multiple chapters? jeez i can't work on one thing consistently. enjoy!

This wasn’t the first time Jason had gone out on his own, and if anyone knew any better, it certainly wouldn’t be the last. The only thing that nearly stopped him from moving forward with his plan, albeit momentarily, was the still palpable guilt that Bruce felt, and made him feel. The ride home from the hospital that night had been grueling, in so many ways.

Having to hear Bruce say “I can’t believe I let you do this, how could I have let you do this” about a billion times become agitating, though that could be considered an understatement.

The guilt was not enough, though, for Jason to ask Bruce if he could stay out in downtown Gotham for the evening, just to hit a couple of bookstores, in search of some no-name novel that Bruce couldn’t care less about. It was so easy. Although not entirely surprising. Bruce, outside of being Batman, was very…out of it. He didn’t pay attention to the details in his _waking life_ , so to speak, because he was still thinking about the work he needed to do the night before, and the night hurriedly approaching him.

“Sure, Jay. What time do you need me to pick you up?” Bruce asked, after Jason’s daring proposal.

A couple of hours rattled off in his brain, but Jason hesitated, thinking clearly, though looking as if he were pondering. Considering that Bruce was up _all_ night, almost _every_ night, the hour of 1 AM was not going to seem like some taboo store hour.

“Midnight,” Jason answered surely, at the ready to pounce on the opportunity to remind Bruce that there were some bookstores that stayed open that late. Because, really, there were, though for the most part said stores resided in Gotham’s East End, and the only protection from street thugs around there was Jason’s abundant training and knowledge, and, in a dire case, _maybe_ Catwoman.

“When do you want to head out?”

There was no way Bruce was agreeing this easily. There had to be a gimmick, or maybe he knew what Jason’s real plans were. Regardless, Jason tried not to visibly seem taken aback, and shrugged, made another face, and said, “Whenever you’re ready, I guess.”

The end of Jason’s sentence was audibly cut off by a door closing down the main hall. The sound of Dick’s voice seemed to intrigue both Jason and Bruce, whom looked back, until Bruce said, “We’ll head out at 6.”

It was winter, and it was definitely going to be dark by 6. This was all working out much too smoothly, and Jason couldn’t really tell whether that was within his favor, or some kind of sabotage being laid out on the other end, by Bruce…and possibly Dick. Because where had he come from? Why was he here? Dick occasionally showed up at the Wayne manor unannounced, but it was on a rare occasion.

Jason couldn’t quite get out of the foyer before Dick grabbed his arm, a little too tight, and gave him a tight, one armed hug, “Hey, Jason.”

“Hey.”

Ever since they’re last encounter, and Jason beating around the bush about _something,_ he dwelled the talk the two of them had. He stayed up even when his eyes were dried out and it was nearly noon, wondering if Dick had figured out, maybe after leaving, that Jason was trying to say, in some stupid way, how he felt about him. He could already hear Dick’s voice, telling him “You’re too young” or “I think you should hang out with more people your age, Jay”.

“How’re your stitches doing?” Dick asked, only stepping back slightly to observe what he could see of Jason.

Jason looked at Dick in the same way, though with a bit more gratification from the sight of him, “They’re better.” he answered quietly.

The warm smile that Dick gave him made the sense of guilt come back, but worse, and for different reasoning. For being the older one, Dick sure looked a lot more innocent, like they should have switched ages, and he hadn’t done half the things that Jason had.

Jason looked away, breaking the gaze that seemed nothing but friendly from one side, and started to internally sulk over the fact that there was just no way in _hell_ he could ever see Dick feeling the same way about him. It all seemed so ridiculous, anyways. Maybe Jason was too young, and should have been spending time with people his age, rather than spending his free time with Alfred and Bruce, and Dick, when he was around. But he was never one for socializing. It wasn’t that the homelessness had sucked the joy out of being around other people, it was just that Jason had never enjoyed it in the first place.

Finally he was drawn back into the moment when he heard Bruce telling Dick about his plans out for the evening.

“Sounds like fun.” Dick said with that stupid smile again, “Mind if I join? I can’t remember the last time I was in a bookstore for leisure.”

The tension bottling up in Jason felt as if it was going to cause him to explode, though he tightly smiled and said, “Not at all.”

And the tension was palpable in the room, though it was mostly emanating from Jason. Before Bruce could ask what was wrong, Alfred was telling the two, “It will be nice for the two of you to be out and about together, sans bruised knuckles and coming home covered in blood that is not your own.”

Dick and Jason left, with the permission to take one of the cars out, instead of taking Dick’s bike into town.

“You can put on whatever you want.” Dick told Jason after they had driven off of the gravel road leading up to the estate’s gated entrance. Jason was a little bit too frustrated with the turn his evening had taken. Could he really complain, though? At least he could spend more time with Dick.

Jason could see out of the corner of his eye, the way that Dick looked over at him. It became a worried, frequent glance, before he asked, “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You seem kind of pissed or something.”

Not being one for communication, Jason pursed his lips, still looking forward, and shook his head, “I’m not.”

“Jason, come _on_.” Dick laughed.

When Jason found Dick’s profile in the darkness of the car, he realized that all he could smell was his cologne and that his shirt was pushed up and over his belt, exposing what had to have been a happy trail, and he quickly looked back to the endless sea of lights that Gotham city was from this distance.

The tension didn’t ease, and Jason didn’t speak, until he had to tell Dick where to turn. The weaving in and out of streets was oddly soothing to Jason, and when they parked, he was already getting out of the car before Dick could turn it off.

The brisk air dipped down into Jason’s jacket, sending a shiver over him as he walked at a pace that Dick almost couldn’t catch up to before he reached the door.

“Where’s the fire, kid?”

“It’s freezing outside.” Jason answered pointedly.

Squeezing around the group of people that bustled out of the second set of doors, Dick gripped Jason’s arm as he had earlier, and hissed, “Slow down.”

The scent of baked goods from the café upstairs wafted up both their noses, and the warm lighting from the ceilings made Jason’s features seem all the more grotesque, what with the grimace he held until Dick let go.

“You’re going to have to tell me what’s wrong eventually.” Whispered Dick as he leaned into Jason.

Before Jason could insist, yet again, that _nothing_ was wrong, he spotted the people that had just left, more specifically three girls about his age that were looking at the back of Dick, or what they could see of him, and giggling and whispering. Through the two sets of doors, Jason scowled further, catching the middle ones attention, until they left just when Dick elbowed him to get his attention.

“What is it?” Dick asked knowingly, only briefly glancing back past the doors.

“Nothing. I don’t know why you need me to slow down, I’m going to look on my own.”

Jason wasn’t necessarily the cheeriest person, but the sharp tone and grimace was a bit much, even for him.

Although the thought that Jason was upset was going to bother Dick, he let Jason walk off on his own instead of continuing to nag at him.

The copious amount of novels that had come out, and received good reviews, since he’d been in college, was incredible. Dick read the back of almost all of them, and already had three within the crook of his arm on the first aisle. When he glanced up and around to try to spot Jason’s whereabouts, he found a pair of eyes that startled him, if only because they seemed to have found him first. Only looking up once more, to reassure himself of who he’d seen, he eased around the end of the aisle and pulled out his cell phone.

Bruce immediately picked up, not greeting with a hello, but with a “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Dick sighed, trying to move a couple of aisles farther away before practically whispering, “What’s Nigma’s status like? Is he…uhm…reformed? Because he’s here, _and…._ I don’t know what I should do. He wouldn’t hold up a bookstore, would he?”

“Riddler? He’s been out of Arkham for the past four months, I don’t think he’s anything to worry about.”

“Just making sure.”

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked abruptly.

“Yeah, it’s just…been a while since I’ve been here. I wasn’t really expecting that, either.”

“It’ll be fine, Dick. Things have been quiet around Gotham lately. If there _is_ an emergency, and that’s a big _if_ , just give me a call.”

Before Dick could take his eyes off of Edward Nigma, who stood in plain day, and _no one_ seemed to recognize him, which disturbed Dick, he became even more disturbed by the way Jason sharply turned a corner, staring down at a book, and nearly running into the former criminal that only stood a couple inches taller than the teenaged Robin.

Gripping his chest tightly with his phone still in hand, Dick stood in sight of Jason and tried to steady his breathing. Where was this panic attack coming from? What exactly did he think the Riddler, of all people, was going to do that was going to catch him off guard?

The crumpled receipt in Jason’s hand signaled Dick that it was okay to haul ass out of the bookstore, until Jason asked, “Do you want a coffee or something?”

Already shaking his head, Dick stammered, “Uhm, let’s just – let’s get one at the next store we go to.”

Jason was too absorbed in his book to argue, so they left just as quickly as they’d came, after Dick put down the books he’d had clutched to his chest. Bruce was right, it probably would be fine, but even with that thought lingering at the back of his head, he couldn’t quite calm down until they made it to another bookstore.

Dick only received one glare from Jason after breaking abruptly while parallel parking outside of the small bookshop.

Being out like this was almost making Dick miss living in Gotham. It made him miss everything about it, even the things he found annoying before he left. The small bookshop they entered made the nostalgia all the more prevalent as he looked around at the walls that were stuffed full of books, from top to bottom. The corkboard on one of the pillars had a couple of advertisements for tutors, some local runs and clubs, and above that corkboard was an old Haly’s Circus poster.

Dick swallowed down the lump in his throat and stepped around the pillar. It put Dick’s mind at ease when he saw several old posters of shows that weren’t around anymore. When Jason came up to him, he was even more relieved by the lightness in Jason’s tone.

“Have you read this?” Jason asked, handing Dick a book out of the small pile he had going, while holding a pastry that seemed to fabricate out of thin air, because Dick couldn’t even fathom how they had a café in such a small shop that already seemed heavily occupied by books from every conceivable area that you could put a book.

“No. Is it good?” Dick asked after looking at the cover and the title, and the author, for a long while.

“It’s a classic…you went to high school, how did you not read this while you were there?” Jason asked in shock.

Dick shrugged, looking at the back and briefly skimming the summary before looking for a price.

“How much is it?” Dick asked after not finding a price on the front or back of the book.

“It was five bucks, but I got it for you, I figured you were going to say you hadn’t read it.”

Dick’s shoulders dropped as he glared at Jason before chuckling when Jason smirked. He was so glad to see Jason acting like himself again.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Dick asked, nodding at the pastry while also flitting through the books in Jason’s arms.

“Around the corner.”

“I don’t even know how you managed to buy this stuff and eat half of that fucking pastry, it hasn’t even been five minutes and I _just_ barely got past the doorway.” Dick laughed, grabbing some of the books from Jason to make it easier for him to maneuver around the pillars.

“It’s been, like, ten minutes.” Jason defended himself before adding, “You can look around if you want. I just like to get in and out of these stores before someone asks if I need help finding anything.”

“That’s okay, I’ll just steal some of these books when you’re done reading them.” Dick reasoned, nudging Jason by the back of his shoulders until he walked out into the brisk winter air again.

The next store that they stopped at was possibly bigger than the first one, and pricier. Still, Dick spotted one of the books he had planned to buy in the first store that he was willing to pay two dollars more for at the register. Jason was already next to him in line with a couple of books, and was scribbling on a piece of paper when the lady came up with the total. Wincing at the price illuminated in green from a distance, Dick watched Jason pull out his wallet and hand over the exact amount in cash. Bruce was spoiling the fuck out of Jason, and although it made Dick happy for the most part, he was a tad jealous, if he was honest with himself.

“Sir?” the small, elderly woman behind the counter said to Dick, smiling warmly when she grabbed his attention, “Did you need a gift card for anyone today?”

“Uh, no.” Dick answered quietly.

When they began to leave the store, Dick looked back at Jason and couldn’t help but smiling. Immediately Jason tensed up, asking, “What’s with the creepy smile?”

Dick’s empathetic ways had made Jason a bit uncomfortable since the day they’d met and he seemed more than happy to have Jason fill in his position. But when the older man’s strong arm came around Jason’s shoulders, he didn’t pull away, and instead, savored the closeness in a subtle way as he listened to Dick sigh, “Bruce is so lucky to have found someone like you. You’re a really good kid, Jay.”

Jason, who was coming up on being as tall as Dick, met an identical pair of blue eyes when he glanced over, and murmured, “Thanks.”

“Anywhere else?” Dick asked once they’d gotten back in the car.

“Not that I can think of.” Jason stated, settling the bag of books he’d brought in the car next to the others before facing forward again.

Stopped at a red light just down the street from the bookstore, Jason spoke quietly, “Thanks for coming out with me.”

Jason held his gaze when Dick looked over at him with a grin, “Thanks for letting me come with. You know we can still go to a couple more places, it’s a little bit early to be heading home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I’m having fun watching you disappear for five seconds and coming back with a mountain of books.”

Jason’s laugh, with how rare it was, was infectious when it happened.

“By the way, was that a little list I saw you with at checkout?”

Raising his eyebrows,  Dick watched the small smirk Jason had that turned into fake sternness before he quickly and smoothly sighed, “Don’t poke fun at my list. I don’t go out often if it isn’t work related.”

 

“I’m not poking _fun_.” Dick stifled his laughter by covering his mouth, and trying not to acknowledge the way Jason looked at him.

“So what do you do in your free time, old man?”

“Dude, don’t call me old man.” Dick immediately dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand towards Jason’s face, which the younger of the two quickly gripped and twisted back, “OW!”

“Self defense, you were about to hit me.”

“Jason for the love of God!” Dick began to whimper half in laughter and pain, impressed by how quickly Jason had maneuvered his arm just enough to make it uncomfortable and almost impossible to get out of.

“I have to drive! Let go!” Dick yelled between laughter when the light turned green.

The interior of the passenger door crackled only slightly when Dick shoved Jason into it roughly, all while Jason laughed, “You little fuck! Are you trying to start shit with me?”

Dick continued to punch Jason’s arm even as the two laughed to the point of being breathless and red in the face.

“Whatever, you could’ve gotten out of that.” Jason scoffed with a huge smile.

“No, I couldn’t!” Dick laughed, “That hurt!” Dick shook his arm out in an awkward way, and then rolled his shoulders back and winced with a smirk.

“That’s the point.” Jason reminded him, watching as Dick rolled his shoulder that had been twisted.

Dick had begun driving somewhere, but Jason didn’t ask. He just let Dick drive, and looked up at the lights several stories above their place on the street.

When they pulled up to an intersection, Jason peered off to the horizon, realizing only now that it almost appeared they were exiting the city.

“Where are we going?” Jason finally asked.

Dick had pulled out his phone and typed something in quicker than Jason could have expected, and tried to read the text from a crooked angle until he responded, “There’s a bookstore on the outskirts. It’s not too far away, but it’s big, and they get new and old stuff in all the time. They also have lots of areas to just sit and read. I figured we could hang out there for a while until we feel like going home.”

A warmth seeped into Jason’s chest before he grinned, “Sounds good,” he said.

It was nice to hear Dick calling Wayne Manor _home_. While it seemed to be that Dick would rather look at visiting the Manor as more of a chore, Jason knew that there had to have been some part of him that missed it. Maybe a larger part than the youngest had originally thought. But it made sense, really. Dick had half grown up there, and Bruce could, in some way, be considered a father figure, however unorthodox the father-son relationship between him and Dick had been. And it was never unpleasant spending time with Alfred.

“I forgot to ask,” started Jason as they passed suburbs beneath the elevated roads, “is there a reason you came to visit?”

A hesitant chuckle came from Dick before he pointed out, “That could sound a little uninviting…I just came to visit because I’m out of school for Christmas break. I didn’t have much else to do.”

“I didn’t mean to sound _uninviting,_ ” Jason explained, “I’m glad you’re here. I actually…wish you’d come around more often.”

Jason could feel the puzzled look he received from Dick, even as he looked out to the snow covered rooftops of houses that varied in size.

“Really?” Dick finally asked, seeming truly surprised to have heard Jason say something like that. Jason, who, from his exterior appearance and attitude, didn’t seem to want anyone around for too long. Still, Dick wasn’t going to firmly believe that Jason was so reclusive and cold towards everyone. And who knows why he’d been that way. Dick could only think of a few reasons…good ones.

The pair of icy blue eyes that leveled with Dick’s in the barely lit car had a hint of sorrow to them, and maybe a bit of regret.

“Yeah,” Jason mumbled before looking away again.

“Does Bruce have you in public school?” Dick suddenly ask, and already the assumption that just anyone could cure Jason’s loneliness put the younger of the two on edge.

“No,” was Jason’s simple answer through clenched teeth. He could remember trying to explain to Bruce that he didn’t see the point of returning to school, considering he had dropped out quite a while ago. Bruce had still insisted on Jason having some form of schooling during the hours that he wasn’t training or on patrol.

When Dick tried to look at him that same worried way that he had driving into Gotham, he recognized that trying to get Jason to say what he was thinking was like pulling teeth. There was no way it was going to happen. It may not have had to do with the fact that he was almost seventeen and that wasn’t the prime age in the teenage years to get a guy to communicate. It could have had to do with the fact that he was living with Bruce, who was equally as horrible at communication.

Before resentment could boil over in Dick’s mind, he sighed and said, “Jason, why don’t you just tell me what you’re thinking? I know you probably don’t have anyone to talk to.”

“I don’t need to talk about anything.” Jason responded with immediately, and quickly, only to add, “I just said I wanted you to be around more, why do you think I have a problem that needs fixing?”

“I – it’s –“ Dick stammered, so confused at Jason’s hostility that seemed too easily provoked.  His body language exhibited his agitation as he tightened his hands on the steering wheel and sighed heavily.

“I just think you would benefit from being around people your age regularly.”

“No,” Jason insisted sharply, feeling his shoulder starting to tighten and a headache emerging into his temples.

“Yes, you would.” Dick demanded firmly, looking over at Jason with an unintentionally authoritative look, the one Bruce would have given him, whilst using that tone.

“I don’t like being around people – “

“That doesn’t mean that you should just lock yourself away. You’re going to have be around people when you get older, kid, I hate to break it to you.”

Dick’s lecturing was possibly the worst thing, if solely from the fact that he didn’t do it often, and had never used that tone with Jason, who was sitting beside him gritting his teeth and wishing he would have broken his arm when he had the chance, because maybe the pain and the hospital visit would have kept this conversation from happening.

“Don’t talk to me like that!” Jason snapped, feeling as if every muscle in his body was tensing after Dick reacted, “You’re only like four years older than me, don’t fucking patronize me like that.”

“Apparently I need to talk to you like that to get you to say more than two words.” Dick pointed out quietly, mostly to himself, “Look, I’m just saying that because…I can’t be around here often. If I could, I would be.” He hated having to say that, because he knew that Jason was going to resume acting like a zombie and barely speaking.

Much to Dick’s surprise, though, Jason mumbled, “Then forget I said anything.”

They were nearing the bookstore that Dick was talking about, and when they finally turned on the street that it was on, Dick told Jason warmly, “I can come around more often, okay?”

“Do whatever you want.” Jason told him coldly.

If being around Jason more often meant having to deal with his mood swings, Dick was willing to adapt. He knew that after a while, Jason would probably loosen up. To date, they hadn’t spent enough time together for Jason and him to be close, but it was what Dick wanted, and obviously Jason wanted it as well, even if it seemed for different reasons that Dick still felt he had to decipher on his own.

Finally arriving at the bookstore, Jason was already rushing to get out of the car again. He grabbed one of his books from the back, but before he could stalk off into the depths of the store, Dick demanded, “Jason, wait.”

His voice had possessed this frigid edge to it, it wasn’t some pathetic plea when he said those words. But it stopped Jason for a moment before he looked back impatiently. He watched Dick lean into the back of the car and then reemerge with the book he’d bought from the last store they were at. As much as Dick wanted to demand Jason stop looking so annoyed with everything yet again, he walked beside him in silence.

“What time is it?” Jason murmured worriedly, pushing the sleeve of his coat up to look at the shiny watch Bruce had given him but he rarely wore.

“It’s open 24 hours.”

Looking to Dick from the corner of his eye, Jason asked, “Really?”

Dick nodded as they walked through the two sets of doors of the entrance. Jason followed Dick, looking around the mostly vacant store, and already feeling his mood lift and his shoulders ease.

Dick had led Jason to an aisle near the edge of the store, where there were two large, comfy chairs at the end, pressed up to a beige wall.

“Do you want to sit and read or look around?” Dick asked, still standing as Jason walked past him to the chair on the left.

“I’m just going to hang out back here. Are you going to look around?” Jason questioned without looking at Dick, and instead opening the hardcover book and immediately removing the book cover.

“No, I’m just gonna grab a coffee really quick. I’ll be right back.” Dick said as he set down his book on a table between the two chairs, his movement thrusting the scent of his cologne up Jason’s nose.

Jason was unresponsive once he started reading. He peered down until it had seemed too long, and he could swear he heard Dick’s voice not too far away. Finally Jason peered up, and looked around. When he found a part of the wall that only came halfway up the nearest bookshelf, he spotted the café, and a young woman with dark blond hair smiling too wide behind the counter. When he leaned slightly back, he could see that the giddy look on her face was indeed from Dick half leaning over the counter, talking to her, with no line behind him.

It was at this time that Jason once again had the feeling that this whole outing was stupid. It was stupid to ask Dick to spend more time with him, and it was stupid for him to even be considering trying to tell Dick how he felt. Obviously Dick wouldn’t mock him if he had expressed how he felt, but he would have let him down a little too gently and it would make Jason want to punch him in the face. Not for the fact that he was saying no, but for the fact that he had to do everything nicely, and that made Jason extremely angry.

Jason hadn’t realized that he was grimacing down at the floor until Dick finally came around the corner. He wasn’t sure what he felt anymore, but he tried to shove it down and pretend as if he’d never had feelings for Dick in the first place. This was it, he was going to let go of it all, and treat Dick like an older brother over anything else…the way it should have been.

Not quite turning his head, he inspected the cup that Dick set down by him, next to his own, that had his name written on it in sharpie, with a smiley face.

“I got you one.” Dick sighed before settling into the large chair next to his.

“Thanks,” Jason said, “…that chick seemed really happy you were getting coffee.”

Dick laughed a little too loud before he said, “Yeah,” sounding a bit unsure, “she was.”

“Did anything happen?” Jason asked, trying to sound more curious in a friendly way rather than forming accusations.

“Oh, no. I mean, she was really pushing for it, but she’s not really my type.” Said Dick. Thankfully he wasn’t looking at Jason when the sense of relief came over him, “I haven’t really been dating chicks lately anyways.”

“Taking a break from dating?” Jason asked, feeling and probably sounding stupid for bringing on this kind of conversation.

“Kind of…I mean I can’t remember the last time I went out with a chick. And the last two guys I went out with were…not worth my time.” Dick explained, looking down at the cream colored pages that somewhat lit his face when Jason looked over at him, hopefully not too eagerly.

Jason wasn’t sure why it was strange to hear Dick talking about dating, but it gave him just a bit more courage.

“What about you?” Dick asked, leaning back in the chair and looking over to Jason.

The tightness in Jason’s chest almost made him unable to talk, though he still managed to say, “What do you mean?”

“Have you been dating anyone?”

“How could I be dating someone if most of my time is spent at home?” Jason asked, without a trace of condescension in his voice, and only slightly smirking at Dick knowingly.

“Okay, I get it. You’re not interested in anyone?”

 _You_. Jason thought to himself, and opened his mouth to say it, but instead looked up to evaluate the look on Dick’s face. It was not an eager expression, nor a disinterested one.

“Uhm,” Jason sighed, clutching his cotton shirt at his side to seep some of the sweat from his palms, “not really…I guess.”

“You guess.” Dick laughed, and although it sounded like it should have been a question, it wasn’t. Not until he continued, “Come on Jason, I’m not going to tell Bruce. Is it Barbara?”

“What?” Jason nearly hissed, “No. I mean she’s pretty, but no, it’s not her.”

“But it is someone.”

The sweat felt as if it wasn’t just on Jason’s palms, now, but also at the base of his neck, pooling. He tried to look back down at his book to get Dick to be quiet.

“Sorry, I’ll stop prying. For now.”

“Don’t pry later, either.” Jason insisted, glancing up at Dick again.

“If you tell me who it is then I _won’t_ pry later.”

“I can’t tell you.” Said Jason, who now looked more interested in his book than the conversation, though he wasn’t invested in the book quite yet and couldn’t do anything aside from read the same sentence over and over nervously.

“Why not?”

“God,” Jason scoffed, covering his face with his right hand. He didn’t know how to handle this. He wasn’t sure if Dick really wanted to know, or if he was just pushing for the answer because he found the activity of annoying Jason funny.

“Come on,” Dick insisted, “give me a hint, at least.”

Pushing his thumb and first finger firmly into the bridge of his nose, Jason sighed heavily, shut his book over his fingers, and then looked over at Dick for a long moment, watching the way his face scrunched up in confusion, and then released, his eyebrows raising expectantly.

When Jason opened his book again, Dick was still staring.

“I said give me a hint.”

“I just did.” Jason murmured, half hoping Dick hadn’t heard him.

“Staring at me isn’t giving me a hint…” the end of his sentence was quiet, and finally he looked away. Jason knew he understood, but also knew that he was going to insist on a more straightforward answer.

Dick looked up at him again, and stared for a while at the side of the younger one’s face as he desperately tried to read.

“Jason,” Dick spoke quieter, “can you just tell me.”

“So you didn’t get the hint?” Jason asked, looking up at Dick impatiently. Dick looked at him like he knew and he was slightly unsure.

“Nothing is better than a solid answer.”

“I thought that being mysterious was sexy.” Jason mumbled, looking down again and receiving a quiet scoff from Dick.

Dick spoke again, hesitantly, “It is sexy, but I’d also like a solid answer.”

“Who do you think it is?” Jason questioned with a smile that Dick hadn’t seen from him before.

Finally Dick closed his book, set it on the small table between them, and held his face in his hands as he leaned on the armrest and stared at Jason, who now stared back, rather than looking away.

“Jason,” Dick said firmly.

“Guess,” Jason responded, “that’s more fun.”

“I don’t – “ Dick sighed, pressing his fingers over his mouth and then looking into Jason’s eyes, the playful quark at the end of his full lips, and the way a small pair of dimples appeared when he smirked too much. If Dick wasn’t mistaken, about the time he’d stopped looking at Jason’s lips and wondering how horrible it would be to kiss him if it weren’t Dick he was talking about, after all of this thought, Jason almost looked at Dick the same way. His eyes half lidded when he looked at Dick’s lips when he moved his long fingers.

“Guess.” Jason said again, this time in a tantalizing whisper, with an equally tantalizing grin.

The large hands that reached up and cupped Jason’s face were hesitant, and cold, though he leaned into the palm of Dick’s right hand as if all he needed was the older one’s touch. With his elbows pressed thoroughly into the table, Dick leaned forward just slightly, just enough to touch his lips to Jason’s in just the right way. A small sigh was elicited from Jason, and it felt as if that was all the confirmation Dick needed.

Although in reality the kiss was a bit chaste, it felt enough for the both of them. Jason looked up at Dick when he pulled his face away. He smiled that tender smile that was becoming rewarding for Dick to see, the way that it made him feel was not something he could easily explain. It may have happened before, with someone else, but it wasn’t quite what it was with Jason. And while there could have been a part in him to argue that this was wrong, it wasn’t enough, not with the want in Jason’s eyes and the way he murmured, “Good guess.”

That night wasn’t as long as it had been intended. After the kiss, the agreement to go home was silent but immediate. After getting in the car, the silence was only broken again by the sound of their lips moving against each other, and the welcoming warmth of Jason’s mouth when Dick gently nipped at his lower lip, only for his own to be sucked into Jason’s mouth, and then a tongue licking up, tasting like sweet cream and peppermint.

Jason was so eager to have Dick’s touch, even if it were too rough and the tugging on his dark locks wasn’t as tender.

They did this for so long, that they had lost track of time, and Jason was straddling Dick’s thighs eagerly, now moaning quietly into his lips.

“Jay,” Dick sighed. It was all he could say, though he felt he should have said so much more. Jason seemed young, sometimes, in character, but not now. How he felt, and moved over Dick, it felt as if Dick were with someone his own age.

But he wasn’t. And he wondered just how far he could go with Jason before it was all new to him. This thought made him press his hands over Jason’s shoulders just enough to move him away.

“What?” Jason asked breathlessly, his lips swollen and his eyes glossy. The look that nearly made Dick thrust up mindlessly and disregarding why he’d stopped Jason in the first place.

Instead of asking the obvious, blunt questions, Dick sighed and spoke gently, “Let’s go home, okay?”

Jason looked slightly embarrassed as he whispered, “Sorry…”

“No, no,” Dick breathed, holding Jason’s face again and pressing his forehead to his own, “don’t apologize. I’m…I’m happy.”

When Jason looked up at him, he asked, “Really?”

“Yes,” Dick reassured him, pushing the wispy black locks from Jason’s forehead. He gave the younger one another firm kiss, and then asked, “you ready to go home?”

Pulling himself up, Jason said, “Yeah,” and then moved his long legs over the glove compartment and sat back in the seat where the leather had grown cold.

 

 


	2. end of the year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have progressed between Jason and Dick, however soon Dick will leave, and Jason is fearful of what this means for him.

Dick liked to think he was a man of reason, over most things. But he knew that, while he’d like that to be true, it mostly wasn’t. Because at times he would try to be level-headed, but something, or _someone_ , would come along and distract him.

Not only did Jason distract him, he made him question his very sense of self. He questioned how far he would take things with Jason before finally coming to his senses, and realizing how wrong it all was.

There were many times, after that night that he and Jason first kissed, not once, but _twice_ and the second being in his car, and wearing down his patience, and his belief that if they were going to do _anything_ it shouldn’t be in one of Bruce’s cars.

The closer it came to Christmas, the more Bruce contemplated putting Jason into a public school in the city, possibly a private one, one where he knew Jason would excel incredibly. He often spoke about it with Alfred, around Dick. However, Dick recognized his place, and never said anything; regardless of the fact that he agreed mostly with Bruce.

It was brought up, of course, to Jason, but Jason was so distracted by Dick’s presence, he couldn’t fully grasp what it meant; that he would be forced into doing something he didn’t want to, and Dick would be gone. He didn’t let himself think about it.

 Instead, he waited for that time, in between night and day, when most people were still asleep, and Bruce was just heading to bed. Jason was meant to, so was Dick, but they stayed up, and were so sleep deprived oftentimes while out on patrol.

But Jason recognized this energy in him that he had never had before, when he came to like Dick being around, and even going out on patrol with  him, it made him forget about the freezing cold and the pain in his knuckles when he punched someone too hard, or landed on his feet too hard, or his Robin suit didn’t keep the cold wind out well enough as he was swinging from one building to the next. He had Dick within arm’s length, at most times, and that was enough for him.

After coming home and showering, Jason would drag Dick into his room, and they would make out for a good half an hour, before things got too heated and Dick had to pull himself off of Jason’s body pinned beneath his, and breathe “Let’s go downstairs.”

This was another part of this routine of theirs, they would go into one of the living rooms tucked away from the main house, for the most part, and watched TV, and pretended that they weren’t going to kiss each other again.

Jason sat between Dick’s legs on the couch, and pressed his back into Dick’s chest, played with his hands, and guided them down between his own legs, beneath a too thick blanket that, about ten minutes later would have Dick sweating, mostly from the way Jason gripped his hand over his erection in his pajama pants, and jacked himself off with Dick’s hand. He never pulled his pajama pants down, he never grinded back against Dick, as much as Dick wished he would. His throbbing shaft pressed into Jason’s lower back by the end of it, when Jason was breathing out ragged breaths and leaning his head back over Dick’s shoulder and whining under his breath when he released.

It was one of those things that, if Bruce knew they were doing it, he would have an aneurysm, or at least lose his shit enough to beat Dick to a pulp. It didn’t matter that Jason orchestrated this next step, it was that Dick should have known better.

However, what they did was not enough for Dick to tell himself it was horrible enough, that he needed to stop. He never let Jason do anything to him, he always helped Jason clean up, took his pajama pants and boxers and threw them in the wash when Jason was changing into Dick’s pajama pants that he always wore over his boxers, knowing Jason would need them.

It wasn’t until later when Dick was lying in his own bed, staring up at the ceiling, remembering the way Jason felt beneath his hand, the way he gripped too tight to force Dick’s fingers almost completely around his cock.

There was a lot to be said, when Dick was closing in on the end of his visit. He knew that Jason was in denial that Dick would have to leave. It wasn’t until Dick’s second to last night of staying in the manor that Jason rested his head in Dick’s lap, and said, “You’re not gonna leave me, are you?” he said it half jokingly, but with a hint of pain behind it as well.

“I’ll be back soon.” Dick let him know quietly and calmly. But Jason made a face, and nudged Dick’s hand away from his hair, where he was continuously stroking over the soft black locks that fell in an identical way to Dick’s hair when he was Jason’s age.

He felt the tension already. He knew that Jason having a meltdown was a slow burn. But the feeling he got before it all, was sickening. He never knew what he could say to Jason, until the younger man was in the middle of it.

So Dick was silent, he waited for Jason to say something…but that never happened. When Jason fell asleep in his lap, and Dick felt the slightest hint of drool on his thigh, he shut off the TV and arched over Jason to carefully move his head. When he picked Jason up, Dick was surprised when he didn’t wake up.

Setting him down in his bed, though, he felt Jason reach out for him and grip his t-shirt.

“Can you stay in here?” Jason asked groggily.

There were two things that could happen, and at least one of them would. Bruce would find them, and ask why the hell they were sleeping together until Dick would break down and tell him because Bruce had that effect on people. Or, things would escalate, because even though Jason was acting innocent and pure, he would, at some point, make Dick a horny mess like he usually did, while Dick restrained himself to doing anything.

Of course, there was the strong possibility that _both_ of those things would happen.

“No, Jason, I have to go to bed.”

“Please,” Jason whispered, and that look in his eyes made Dick kneel down beside his bed. He didn’t expect Jason to cuddle into his crossed arms, and rest his head on Dick’s forearm.

“Bruce is gonna come in here and freak out.” Dick said, predicting the future.

Jason looked up at him through half lidded eyes, “Then lock the door.”

“He’ll knock it down.”  Dick reminded him. It may have sounded funny, but it was a very real thing that Bruce would do, especially if neither of them responded to him knocking from the outside.

“Then leave before he wakes up.” Said Jason quietly, now with his eyes closed.

“Jay,” Dick said in a defeated tone, but pulled his arms away from Jason. When the younger man opened his eyes again, he looked like a sad puppy, and Dick wanted to build the strength to just get up and fucking _leave_ but he couldn’t.

He tried to reason with himself, now. He didn’t want to make Jason upset, even if knew he had to. _I’ll just stay in here until he goes to sleep, which won’t take long, then I’ll leave_ he thought. Once he stood, and nudged Jason over, he only hoped desperately that it would go his way. That when Jason draped himself over Dick’s chest, and nuzzled into his neck, he would fall asleep.

Honestly, Jason had tried, too, to fall asleep. But it wasn’t so easy. He became too aware of Dick’s body underneath him, how broad his shoulders were and the expanse of his chest, and the warm smell of his cologne still clinging to his shirt. The feeling of Dick’s hair against his forehead, and the feeling of the pointed area of Dick’s jaw pressing to Jason’s cheek, just so slightly scratching him with the vaguest feeling of facial hair.

He tried to savor the feeling of being together, but suddenly the reality of the next few weeks hit Jason, and he had this sick feeling in his stomach, and this empty feeling in his chest. He didn’t know how he was going to do this. Bruce saw him as a fearless, young man, but Jason couldn’t even think about being around hundreds of people his age five days out of the week _and_ doing patrol at night, all without having the warm relief of Dick’s arms around him at the end of the day.

In his panic slowly building up, he hadn’t realized that he was curling his arms tighter around Dick until he felt a hand on his face, “Jay, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jason breathed against his neck. When Dick tried to peel his body away, he felt so much resistance from Jason that he eventually stopped fighting it.

“You can talk to me,” Dick said desperately, without intending to sound the way he did.

After what felt like minutes, Jason finally said through grounded teeth, “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I told you I’ll be back…I’m only an hour and a half away.”

Finally Jason released his constricting grip on Dick, and turned onto his back, covering his face with his whole hand, “You say that like I can just go and visit you.”

Dick almost slipped up, told him that he could, until he realized that Jason really couldn’t. He couldn’t drive yet. And he knew that Jason didn’t want to go anywhere with Bruce unless absolutely necessary.  Batman and Robin was different than Bruce and Jason.

Jason  bit down on his bottom lip so hard he felt it would bleed, as tears started to well in his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Dick. He never cried, anyways. He was being weak. Where was this coming from?

Suddenly he thought of how Bruce was trying to integrate him into the “real world”, trying to make him a normal teenager by making him go to school, get along with people, learn right from wrong, maybe have a future that didn’t consist of beating the shit out of criminals until the crack of dawn. Jason loved being Robin more than he loved…anything. The thought of giving it up not only angered him, but terrified him.

This was his life now.

Jason thought, who was he without being Robin? Suddenly people cared about him, and he felt he had a place in the world.

Now his heart was pounding in his chest, and he felt Dick staring at him nervously.

“Jason, please talk to me,” Dick said softly, gripping the inside of his elbow and trying to tug his hand from his face, “I just…I want you to be okay, please.”

Jason tore his arm away from Dick, trying to get off of the bed only to have Dick’s strong arms closing around his torso and pulling him back in. No longer allowing him to run away from his problems.

“Let go,” Jason let out a quiet sob, “I just need to go for a run, or something…” he said biting his teeth together to keep his tears back in his throat.   _Shut up_ he thought _just shut up, stop crying, don’t do this_.

The sound of Dick saying Jason’s name into the nape of his neck tenderly made him shiver just slightly. The feeling in his chest was unbearable. He wanted to get out, get away from Dick, he didn’t want to deal with this because he never dealt with his problems.

“Sometimes you need to talk,” _especially not like that_ Jason thought. He never _talked_ about his problems. He loved his place in this home and his place on the streets, but he couldn’t get used to this ‘communication is important’ bullshit.

Jason was possibly more stubborn than he was emotional, which made for hell in his mind and body and made him way too tense, way too sick all the time. He carried it around with him all day, what felt like every day.

“Just…scared,” Jason finally breathed out through clenched teeth. Dick knew that silence would work, and it did, because Jason felt it coming up in his chest and his throat he knew he was going to tell Dick, whether he wanted to or not, everything that was on his mind, or at least the summarized version, coming out in sloppy sentences that were interrupted by hiccups or sobs.

“I-I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to be…like that, why is Bruce doing this to me? Does…does he-“ Jason’s whole body tensed, he couldn’t even say it out loud, for this weird worry that his fear would come to life the moment he said it.

“What?” Dick asked, closing his arm around Jason’s bicep when he felt like the younger man would bolt out of nowhere. He knew that Jason was fighting with himself right now, that he didn’t want to talk about it, but he was doing it anyways. Not because that was what Dick wanted, but because he knew he needed to.

“What…does he want me to go to college? Does he…he doesn’t want me as Robin…”

There was silence for a moment before Dick said quietly, “You know, Bruce didn’t push me to go to college…he didn’t push me out of this house, he didn’t tell me I couldn’t be Robin anymore. That was my choice.”

Jason hadn’t really thought about what had happened to Dick. He could only think about the way it felt like _his_ world was ending just when he was getting used to it after it had completely changed.

But Dick was right. Not only did Bruce make him go to high school, but he didn’t exactly accept that Dick wanted to be someone else. His own person. And then Jason remembered that Dick still did what he did as Robin, but without a mentor, without being a sidekick.

It all came together in his mind, Dick realized, when he felt Jason’s body ease slowly with each minute that passed. There was more silence, and his breathing had come back.

“Everything will be okay.” Dick reassured him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow here's the second chapter FINALLY. sometimes i have a hard time writing angst, but once i get into it, it's a lot easier.


	3. the "real" world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick leaves, Jason adjusts to school life and some of his actions may be related to feelings he can't fully explore.

To say that Jason was depressed after Dick left would be an understatement. Things didn’t get better, they only got worse the closer it came to the start of the spring semester, or in other words, Jason’s very first semester of public school since he was a child. He resented Bruce, resented everyone that looked at him when he stepped out of the car, in a uniform that he filled admittedly better than most of the boys in his grade. He was a Junior, and he had to repeat that several times the first week of school. He was quiet, though, but that didn’t stop people from coming up to him.

After all, Jason didn’t see himself the way everyone else saw him. He was tall, and _built_ for someone his age, while still being slender. When his hair wasn’t over his face, you could _really_ see how handsome he was. There was one girl in particular that looked at him, often times when he was focusing on writing or reading in his history class. She seemed to think Jason didn’t notice, or feel her staring.  She had dark hair, and light green eyes, and olive colored skin. She was beautiful. And if Jason wasn’t so focused on school, he might consider talking to her.

Luckily for him, he took all upper level classes, so the things he studied and the tests he took did somewhat challenge him, but not enough that he didn’t get almost all A’s. He was quite impressed with himself. After a while, he got used to school, and Bruce let him have his moody days, even weeks, and even carry it out onto patrol with him. Bruce allowed this, because he knew things would get better for Jason.

“Jason,” Bruce said one evening after he’d gotten home from school. He was just shrugging off his coat blazer and regretting not wearing a coat like Alfred recommended _every morning_ he brought him to school thus far.

Bruce’s voice sounded as if it was coming from the living room. When Jason turned the corner, he spotted Bruce, who was still wearing his bathrobe and clearly had just woken up.

Bruce looked as if he wanted to say something, he even opened his mouth to speak, and Jason was extremely confused by the look on Bruce’s face. It wasn’t _soft_ but…it was something else, something less stern than usual.

Jason raised his eyebrows, impatiently, feeling hunger clawing at his stomach. He really just wanted to eat, more than anything at that moment.  

“I’ll come back down, actually. I just need to speak with you about something.”

_Shit_ was Jason’s immediate thought. Bruce noted the way Jason’s eyes darted over him, but his body stayed unusually still, before he said sheepishly, “Okay…”

Jason was halfway through devouring a turkey sandwich with extra tomatoes and cheese. Alfred had made him a sandwich three times out of the week, and other days he would make him something a little more wholesome, but to Jason, this was perfect, just because he was so hungry everyday he got home from school.

When Bruce stepped into the kitchen, he was dressed like he might be headed into the city for _business_ related stuff that he never completely explained to Jason before he left. Jason always wanted to come with, to at least be dropped off at the bookstore because no matter how long Bruce was going to spend in the Wayne Enterprises building, it couldn’t even scratch the surface of how long Jason really wanted to stay in his favorite bookstore.

“Oh, hey…” Jason said with his mouth still full, he half expected Bruce to give him a look as if to say _manners_ but he didn’t. He seemed distracted.

“So,” Jason finally said, swallowing thickly, when he reached for the bottle of water, he noticed the piece of paper in Bruce’s hand. Why did he have a bad feeling about this? There was _literally no way in hell_  he was doing bad in school. He’d heard kids, in passing, mention that they needed to get their grades up, some shit about being grounded, or yelled at, whatever.

It was then that Jason realized what this was about.

“I got your report card in the mail.” Bruce said, waiting for Jason to react, but he didn’t. He looked a little nervous, but it was just wide eyes and his left cheek being full of food as he had ceased all movement together, waiting for Bruce to just spit it out. Was it good? Was it bad?

He watched Jason lean over the counter when Bruce set the piece of paper down in front of him. There was a sense of immense relief, and satisfaction when Jason saw that he was getting an A in every class. There was something written in the section that allowed the chancellor to make comments, but that didn’t really matter to him, so he didn’t read it.

“You’re doing…really well.” Said Bruce, almost sounding blown away.

“I mean, I kind of figured,” Jason tried not to sound too confident, and he didn’t, not to Bruce, “I was getting A’s on my tests and my homework.”

“In _all_ classes?” Bruce laughed, seeming genuinely happy. It was weird to Jason, maybe it made him a bit uncomfortable, because he wasn’t used to seeing Bruce this way, but it still made him feel good.

“Yeah…” suddenly Jason wondered if Bruce thought he was cheating, or that there was no way some homeless kid that he took from the street could really be that smart.

But that was not Bruce’s thoughts at all. Sure, he was a little surprised, but he knew Jason was smart the moment he let him get in the Batmobile. The moment he even saw Jason trying to steal his tires. Jason _was not_ some street punk. He was a kid, with immense potential. And on the street, he was smart enough to know what he needed to survive.

 “…You should be proud of yourself, Jason.”

Jason looked at this certain area on the stove across the island where he sat, that had a particularly shiny spot that glared into his eyes.

He didn’t respond, until he finally looked at Bruce and nodded.

It felt strange. Things were going so well, compared to how they were nearly four months ago. Four _short_ months ago. He wondered if he was dreaming. He wondered, if this was how his life was going to go, when would something really bad happen? For some reason, Jason felt he didn’t deserve this. He was trying so hard, to make everyone proud, and he was _actually succeeding_ at almost _everything_.

“Thanks,” was Jason’s initial response, “for…everything.” Finally came out, quietly.

Bruce nodded once, “Of course.”

A few moments later, Bruce stated, “I’m going into Gotham, I was wondering if you wanted to join me?”

Jason didn’t quite turn to look at Bruce, only his eyes looked to the right. Bruce stood behind him, peering into the refrigerator in a similar manner that Dick did when he came around.

“Oh…well,” Jason started thinking that no, he had homework, and he had to at least take a nap before patrol because he was _exhausted_.

“You can think about it, I’m not leaving for another thirty minutes…maybe an hour. I just thought while I was attending to business, I could drop you off at a bookstore. You can bring your homework if you want. I’ll be at least two hours.” Bruce offered, and though his voice had gone back to the gravelly, mostly serious tone, there was a hint of persuasion there.

At least, it all sounded tempting.

“Then after I get out we can pick up something to eat before we head back.” Bruce added sometime later.

“I mean, I guess…I’m just really tired…”

“You don’t have to join me on patrol tonight, if you’d like to get some sleep.” Bruce immediately stated. Since when? And like hell, there was not a night Jason had taken off; the only way he’d stay off the streets for patrol was if he was in his deathbed.

“Nah, I don’t want to skip out on patrol.” Jason said quietly, almost to himself. He was really considering tagging along with Bruce. He was suddenly unaware of how important sleep was.

As it was, Jason was allowed to go into school an hour later than the rest of his peers. The school only bent over backwards for Jason because he was in _Bruce’s_ custody. And Bruce, well, Bruce had a fuck load of money, so he could just _demand_ things like that of the school. But this allowed Jason to come home from patrol and get at least eight hours of sleep, if he just showered and went straight to bed. Most nights he would stay up reading or listening to music. These days, he stayed up doing extra homework that he really could have saved for the next day.

Finally, as if in defeat, Jason sighed, “Yeah, I guess I’ll go with.”

Jason didn’t _need_ more books, but that never stopped him. Especially when Bruce would hand him a wad of cash and tell him to ‘spend it wisely’ which he knew Jason would. If Jason didn’t buy books, he bought music.

After Jason finished his sandwich, and excused himself from the kitchen just as Bruce was sitting down to eat something Alfred had made beforehand, Jason flew up the stairs to his room and changed quickly.

He pulled anything he didn’t need out of his backpack, shoved a pair of headphones in with his walkman.

They drove into the city, and Jason fiddled with the heated seat and messed with the radio. He didn’t turn it up too loud. Bruce let him listen to what he wanted, in his car he didn’t have many rules except don’t put your feet on the dash - or the seats. This rule mostly applied to Dick, after one too many times of him kicking his feet up and treating the Porsche like it was his room. Jason, however, was different. He was more cautious, while still trying to be comfortable.

Bruce dropped Jason off at the front of the building, told him if he needed anything he was just a block away, and he could always call his office. He handed Jason the usual wad of cash, and said he’d be back at 8 to pick him up, maybe a little earlier if possible.

It was freezing outside, as the sun was just starting to set. It was almost spring, but even then, Gotham wasn’t the kind of place to stay during spring break. Which, he had altogether forgotten about until he realized it was, what, three weeks away? Jason didn’t really understand, nor care about the concept of spring break.

 The couple of guys at school that did talk to him, talked about spring break, and how they had gotten laid last spring break, and after a while Jason couldn’t care to listen until they asked him what he’d be doing for spring break. Nothing? Homework? Reading? Training? All of these things sounded stupid to his peers, he already knew it, so he simply said dismissively, “I don’t know yet.”

School and patrol and his lack of sleep had kept him too tired and too preoccupied to keep track of how often Dick called home. He usually asked to talk to Jason, after he’d spoken to Bruce. Dick simply asked how school was going, how he was handling the work load of being Robin and being a normal teenager now. There was something special said at least once in those calls. Each time, Dick would tell Jason that he missed him, or that he’d see him again as soon as he could.

After Dick left, it was like he was out of sight, out of mind. Jason didn’t give as much thought to Dick as he thought he would have, once he left. He remembered everything that happened, and sometimes it really got to him at night, when he was lying in bed, trying to go to sleep. Rarely, though, would he let himself feel this way, and indulge himself.

He wondered if Dick acted the same way…if he thought about him.

He didn’t let Dick come into his mind now, though, not for long. Instead, he browsed his usual sections, tried to think of any books he wanted. Usually when he came to this particular bookstore, he was prepared, and had a list. But this was spontaneous. So instead, he found himself picking up books and reading the backs of them more than he normally would.

He browsed most of the bookstore. When he had no idea what he was looking for, everything seemed interesting.

The science section wasn’t one he usually spent too much time in, but today, he was standing there for a good half hour looking through a ton of books about astronomy, some about human biology, and some about mathematics. He had grabbed a rather large book about constellations, with pictures, when he felt someone standing beside him, half a foot shorter than him. He ignored them, hoping they would go away, until his eyes fluttered towards the left, and he realized they were staring up at him.

When he met eyes with the boy, he was slightly startled. Although he knew the boy was close, he was much closer than Jason initially thought. Did he want the book Jason was looking at? The boy was pale, and had longer black hair and blue eyes that were a darker hue than Jason’s own. There were some freckles spattered here and there on his face, and after observing him initially Jason looked around, and then closed the book, “You wanna look at this?” he asked the kid.

Suddenly a man came around the corner, and immediately grabbed the kids arm before he could grab the book from Jason’s hands. The kid had to have been at least 12, maybe 13. Maybe younger, Jason was really bad with guessing anyone’s age.

“Tim, leave him alone, I told you I could have grabbed that book for you.” Said the man, whom Jason assumed to be the kid’s father.

Looking up to Jason, he added, “I’m sorry…you don’t have to give that to him, he was just –“

“Oh, no that’s okay. I was just looking at it.” Jason said, in a soft tone that surprised even himself. He handed the book to the kid, who apparently was named Tim. The kid looked more tired once his dad rolled around.

Tim took the book, and looked up at Jason again, this time with what Jason thought was curiosity, but was instead admiration. Jason looked, and seemed much cooler to this kid than he thought.

Tim’s father sighed, and looked down at Tim, “What do you say, Tim?”

“Thank you.” Came quietly from the boy, and Jason couldn’t help but laugh a little. He didn’t usually like kids, actually he hated younger kids for the most part, or at least that’s what he liked to believe.

“No problem.” Jason said with a smile.

Before they left, the father looked and mouthed a silent, “Thank you,” with an exhausted look on his face. Jason simply nodded and then continued to look at the books in that section.

He looked around for another couple of minutes, once in the fiction section, and another in the biography section, and then he found a place near the café area of the bookstore, a comfy looking chair facing the window, with a table beside it. He got a small coffee, and then claimed his spot. He looked out once onto the street, and then dug into his backpack to find his homework, and his walkman.

He stayed like this for a while, until someone came up to him.

 When he looked up, it was a girl that he thought he recognized from school. She had a soft smile on her face, and she waved quickly, knowing he had his headphones in and couldn’t really hear her if she spoke. When he pulled the headphones out of his ears, she said, “Hi, Jason.”

This was the girl that he always caught looking at him, the girl that tried to talk to him when he left class. It wasn’t that she wasn’t beautiful, he just…knew what she wanted. Knew how she was. Her name was Francine, and like most girls at his school, she was a spoilt brat.

“Hi,” Jason murmured, “uhm,”

She raised her eyebrows, as it had sounded like he was going to say more, maybe her name. But he didn’t. He just asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I usually come here to do my homework when my parents are out of town and I can take the car.” She said with ease.

Jason only stared at her, deadpan, and tried not to roll his eyes. He didn’t have enough reason to, anyways.

“Oh, nice.” Jason said quietly, unsure of what else to say.

“I see you’re doing homework,” she said after a while.

“Yeah, uhm…yeah.” He said looking down at the books and notebooks he had opened in his lap.

“And…listening to music?” she asked, peering down at his walkman in his lap, curiosity sparking in her green eyes.

“Yeah, that too,” Jason said simply. Why did she care? More importantly, why couldn’t Jason act civilized?

Francine tilted her head, and then looked expectantly at him, “What are you listening to?” she asked, finally. She seemed to be growing impatient just by the lack of talking he was doing.

He didn’t have to put his headphones back in to remember what he was listening to, “Black Flag,” he answered. He wasn’t surprised when Francine murmured, “Oh…”

He looked away awkwardly, and just when he started to think he should at least make an effort, she said, “Uhm…sorry I bothered you.”

He gave her this unintentional sympathetic look when he said, “That’s okay.”

“I guess I’ll see you in school tomorrow…” she said. He thought of the way Dick would react to seeing him, in a roundabout way, turn this girl down. But…he wasn’t interested. Not in her. She tried too hard to seem innocent, but Jason had seen the way she talked and looked at other girls. She was mean, for no good reason.

She thought she could get any guy she wanted. But that wasn’t true. If Jason had to reject her repeatedly, he would. He would do it in front of the girls Francine picked on, just to make a goddamn point.

Jason may have kept to himself for the most part, but he wasn’t oblivious to his peers and their actions. Which was, apparently, what they thought. Bruce had trained him to observe everyone and everything, without any real intention. That, as Bruce had taught him, was the way information fell into your lap.

“Yeah,” Jason said dismissively, as he’d remembered all of this.

She left, and that was that. Now he knew, though, that when he came to this specific bookstore, that he had to be careful that Francine wasn’t there. What was she doing hanging around in a bookstore anyway?

He only caught a glance at her table as he was getting up, after a while of doing homework and then checking the time. She was with friends. That explained a lot. Was she trying to impress them by flirting with Jason?

“Bye, Jason.” Said one of the girls, who earned a smack from Francine.

He ignored them, and heard subtle scoffs and one of the girls say, “What an asshole…”

It didn’t bother him. If anything, he was used to it from the other people at school. That was how most of them treated him. They tried to talk to him, but he was disinterested, which made him an asshole. They…weren’t wrong, he supposed. He was at school to excel, not make friends.

However, on the ride home, the conversation that ensued made him realize that his outlook was unacceptable to the school.

Bruce said, “I am very proud of you, Jason, for working so hard at school.”

He let that sink in, and Jason said, “Yeah, thanks.”

Finally, Bruce said, “But there was something on your report card I feel I need to address.”

“What?” Jason asked immediately. It was that damn comment box that Jason had overlooked flippantly, and didn’t absorb the words that the chancellor had written.

Bruce adjusted, but didn’t take his eyes off the road as he spoke, “Your teachers…and the chancellor seemed to be worried that you haven’t adapted socially…at all.”

“I talk to people.” Jason grumbled immediately, in his defense as he stared out the window and gripped the sleeve of his coat.

“Not enough, I don’t think.” Bruce said quietly.

Jason rolled his shoulders slightly and then looked at Bruce. Did he really care if Jason didn’t have a social life? How did he expect that, anyways? He kept Jason _way too busy_ for that part of being a teenager.

“What do they want from me? I mean, I pretty much grew up on the streets; I have nothing in common with those people.” Jason reminded Bruce.

There was a moment of quiet, and the same kind of tension that was between Jason and Dick when they had talked about school, and making friends.

“I understand why you feel that way, Jason. But I don’t completely agree. You’re living a different life now. You’re extremely smart –“

“That doesn’t mean shit.”

“ _Jason_ ,” Bruce practically snapped. He had hoped he wouldn’t see this attitude from Jason when it came to school, “Listen to me, please, before you open your mouth again.”

For once, Bruce looked away from the road, giving Jason a hard expression, and the piercing ice cold eyes made Jason look forward and keep quiet, listening to Bruce now, but with silent resistance to accept Bruce’s words.

“As I was saying, you’re smart, you’ve excelled immensely. We both know you’re more athletically inclined…the school wants you to try and join a club, or a sport, see if you make friends that way.”

Jason waited for a few seconds of silence before he spoke, “And what if I don’t?”

“Don’t what?” Bruce seemed as though he wanted to say more, but didn’t.

“What if I don’t make friends? Also, what do they consider ‘adapting socially’? What the hell does that even mean? They want me to go to parties and get drunk and come to school the next day smelling like I still have vomit somewhere on me?” Jason’s voice was growing in volume. He felt he was being accused of something, here.

“Just…talk to more people. Initiate conversation. I have a list of activities from the school that you can do. I’ll let you pick what it is you do, but you need to do something, so that the school at least knows we had this discussion.” By this time, the manor was visible in the distance, and Jason’s pulse was rising from the stress of the conversation, “I know you don’t feel like you have anything in common with your peers, I know you probably don’t like most of them and the way that they go about… _life_. I know you want to be alone, trust me, that is one thing I sincerely understand. But this school…” Bruce paused as he pulled into the driveway, waiting to open the garage door, “it cares about those things. I don’t think they’ll kick you out if you _don’t_ make friends, but we need to at least – “

“I get it.” Jason mumbled in defeat. It wasn’t like him to go down so quickly. But there wasn’t much fighting it. Every time he thought of arguing, he felt guilty, knowing Bruce was just trying to give him a better life, when he had already given him so much.

Besides, at least Bruce… _understood_ where Jason was coming from. Surprisingly, Bruce was as much, if not more of a recluse as Jason.

Patrol took more out of Jason than he would have liked, so Bruce dropped him back off at the manor before heading back out into the city for a couple more hours. He was so tired; he barely had the motivation to take off his suit and shower.

As he drudged along the cave, he stalled at the batcomputer. After thinking for a moment, he finally gave in and sunk down into the large chair that seemed way too comfortable. He could have easily rested his head down on the keyboard and slept with no shame.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and in that moment, he wondered what Dick was doing. Probably the same thing Bruce was doing, minus just having dropped a tired sidekick off at home to get some sleep, and listening to him protest the whole ride home.

However, the knowledge that Dick was also out in the night, kicking people’s asses, didn’t stop Jason from picking up the phone, in a drunken state of sleepiness, and dialing Dick’s number.

Much to his surprise, someone picked up. Even more to his surprise, it was not Dick…he…had called Dick, right?

“Hello?” a woman’s warm voice came over the line.

“Hi, uhm,” Jason said, swallowing thickly, his throat and mouth gone dry, “is…I’m…is Dick there?”

Jason actually hoped that he had called the wrong number, instead of having to face the fact that Dick was fucking around with some girl who was clearly staying at his apartment for long enough to feel comfortable picking up _his fucking phone when it rang_.

“Yeah, he just got back…hang on,” he heard the woman walking across Dick’s apartment, and Jason was seething with hatred for this woman and…jealousy, “Who’s calling?”

The _nerve_ …Jason never wanted to outright yell at a woman more than he did now, “Jason…” he responded with impatiently.

He heard the woman telling Dick that _someone named Jason_ was on the phone. Fuck her, he thought. Who the hell was-

“Hey…” Dick answered quietly, “Uhm, what’s up?”

“Who is that?” Jason immediately asked, trying to reason with the fact that Dick was a grown man and could do whatever, and _whoever,_ apparently, he wanted.

“Kori…I’m sure I’ve brought her up…Starfire?” Dick said, sounding nervous. No, he hadn’t brought _Kori_ up, but unfortunately when Jason thought of her, heard her alias, he knew who she was. He knew they had a history. What was he thinking?

“Oh, yeah…” suddenly Jason felt small, he felt like a child, like he was intruding on Dick’s life and had called at the worst possible time, which was… _always_ for Jason, he supposed.

“Is everything okay?” Dick asked, and Jason thought he could hear a door sliding shut behind him.

Jason wanted to say so many things. He wanted to have a real conversation, the ones they had when Dick was visiting. But just the thought of saying _I miss you_ and it being overheard, and misconstrued by Kori made him nervous. Not only that, but he felt hopeless. When was Dick going to come back? And…if Kori was there, what did that mean? That he had moved on? It’s not like Jason and Dick were…anything, formally. But it certainly felt that way at times. And Jason wanted it so bad.

“Jay…” there it was, the sign that Dick was out on the balcony, and that he knew Bruce wasn’t going to pick up another receiver in the house and overhear the way he had said Jason’s name.

“I just…I wanted to…” words, Jason thought, he couldn’t get them out no matter how much he wanted to.

“I miss you.” Dick said, almost for him, or as permission.

Instantly, and out of nowhere, Jason felt a familiar knot in his stomach, and the tears suddenly flooding his eyes. He went to push his first knuckle into his eyes enough to wipe away the tears that barely had the chance to leave his eyes, when he looked up and realized he was still wearing his domino mask. His reflection was in the huge darkened screen of the computer, and he saw what a mess he was. He was barely keeping himself together.

A quiet, choked exhale into the receiver was the only way Dick knew he was still there.

“I’m such an idiot,” Jason breathed aloud finally, though he really didn’t want to.

“No,” Dick told him warmly, “you’re not.”

“Why do I keep wanting  you to come back when I know you don’t care about me?” Jason asked, realizing that he probably sounded pathetic, but that was how he felt, and he had gotten used to telling Dick almost everything.

“I do care about you.”

“Not the same way I care about you.” Jason said, looking down at the worn keys on the batcomputer before he peeled off his mask, “I’ll let you go.”

“Jason – “ he truly didn’t want to hang up, but he felt something like betrayal after he thought of everything Kori and Dick were doing together. The way she could have him, but Jason couldn’t. It felt…fair. It felt like Jason was in the wrong, and he knew it. So did Dick, probably, he thought.

Leaning into the large, comfy chair, Jason shut his eyes as he tilted his head back. The phone began to ring. Lucky for him, no one else was here to pick it up, but him, and his spitefulness wouldn’t allow it.

\--

Weeks passed, and each time Bruce tried to hand the phone to him, Jason would claim he was too busy with homework to talk, or he would grab the phone from Bruce, only say “Hey…I’m busy.” Just as Bruce left the room, and Jason would hang up before Dick could even say anything.

This was the ultimate cold shoulder. Jason was not going to speak to him again for a while, if he could pull it off, maybe he’d _never_ speak to him again.

Just before spring break, a new student arrived at his school. She sat in front of Jason, and her hair was the same color as his, she wore dark eye makeup, even though she knew she wasn’t supposed to, and wore two black bracelets on her left arm. She would wear her hair up in a ponytail, long black curls trailing down her back, exposing her thin neck. Jason spent way too much time observing her than he would have liked to admit.

Her name was Evelyn, but everyone called her Eve, especially Francine who claimed that “Eve is a slutty name,” trying to get a rise out of the girl.

Jason stared down at his paper when Francine said that, even though he wanted to look up, and for once, defend someone in this school. It was before the teacher had come into the classroom, so it was free reign, clearly, when Eve said, “Fuck off, you ignorant bitch.”

That was probably one of the first times he’d heard that kind of talk outside of their lunch breaks and maybe in gym class.

That actually seemed to shut Francine up, and earn some brownie points from the girls Francine typically targeted to seem powerful to her peers.

Francine didn’t speak to Eve again. When Eve told her to stop bullying the other girls, Eve insisted the only reason she did that was because Francine’s parents didn’t love her and she wanted all the approval she could get. Francine practically went silent in that class.

One day, Jason got to class a little earlier than he usually did. It was his first class of the day, and for once he showed up to school early because he’d gotten enough sleep. It was three days before Spring break, everyone’s idle chit chat reminded him.

He sat there, for a while, trying to squeeze in some studying before the test in that class, when Eve turned in her chair. Normally that didn’t cause Jason to look up, not something like that, but when he did look up at her, it surprised most people who were observing them out of  boredom.

She smiled at him, her full lips just barely tugging up enough to show her perfectly straight teeth. For once Jason didn’t want to punch someone in his school.

“Hi,” she murmured, looking out at him from the perfectly applied eyeliner that contrasted the color of her skin.

Jason could only give her a tight smirk before he noticed Francine walk in with her friends, at least out of the corner of his eye. He looked at the way her eyes observed every inch of his face, before she said, “Jason, right?”

“Yeah…” he said quietly, trying not to attract too much attention just by _speaking_ for once.

“I saw you at the music store the other day…” she stated, “you listen to punk?”

The fact that she had even said that made Jason a little dizzy, but he responded, “Uhm, yeah…do you?”

“Yeah, I really like NOFX…” she waited for a reaction, and she raised her eyebrows when he did respond, saying “I’ve heard of them…haven’t really listened to them yet, though.”

“The Misfits?”

“Oh, yeah. I used to listen to them a lot before I got into Black Flag –“

She gasped, “Shit, I love them…I’m surprised you listen to them, though…or anything like punk. I didn’t think anyone in this school had good taste in music.”

Jason actually laughed at that, and he could feel Francine’s eyes searing a hole in him when he laughed, “I totally know what you mean.”

They looked at one another, almost unaware that the classroom had mostly filled up, and the teacher was about to walk in.

“We should hang out sometime…” she said, with a little quark at the corner of her lips. Jason could feel his palms start to grow sweaty. Hopefully if they did spend time together outside of school, the school staff would be aware of it, and consider Jason’s social life decent.

But, he knew already, that Eve was not the kind of person the school had meant for him to become friends with. Fuck what the school had _meant_ , though.

“I’m down,” Jason said easily, making her bite her lip, and then turn swiftly, only half paying attention to Mr. Graham greeting the class.

Just as his back was turned, Eve slipped Jason a small scrap of paper with her number on it, and a tiny Anarchy symbol scribbled upside down over the ‘v’ in her name.

_What the fuck just happened_ Jason thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Walkman, 80's punk bands...I almost forget to make the story 'accurate' to the time Jason was brought into the comics. But you learn new things when you're willing to do the research! For example the Porsche 944 had heated seats?  
> also, just to touch on it, Jason's not going to be 'with' this girl he doesn't know a damn thing (or at least not much) about her but he's gotta be a little rebellious...so he's tryin'.  
> but no need for panic c;


	4. there's only one thing to do during spring break in gotham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason finds himself in what seems like a healthy relationship, but how soon will he have to face his repressed feelings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes the smut doo do doo doo (this is v light smut, of course more will come later on down the road)

Spring break came, and Jason found it surprisingly easy to call Eve. They talked about music for a while, then about comics, then about living in Gotham, and then Jason said, “So…do you really wanna hang out?”

“Totally,” she said in this way that made Jason think of what could happen if they were alone together, and how Bruce…Bruce would be unbelievably _pissed_ , “Uhm, I don’t know if you wanna like…go get ice cream or some shit, or if you’d rather just hang out at my house and listen to music.”

“Well, you make the first one sound so tempting.” Jason laughed as she giggled, and then she told him her address, and that, if he wanted to, he could come with her after school on Thursday. It was a half day, and also they’re last day of school before the break. If he lied to Bruce, which he couldn’t’ believe he was considering doing, he could say he was staying afterwards to talk to the track and field coach, which was one of two activities he agreed to do.

That would buy him a couple of hours.

“Well…I’ll see you tomorrow Jay.” Eve murmured after a while, a smile audible in her voice.  

 

Jason showed up to school prepared. He had his tapes and a lot more than he needed, but not enough to weigh him down.

One of the guys had gotten word, like _everyone else_ that the new girl was talking to him, and he was actually speaking, for once, to another classmate.

Brendon was one of the guys that he talked to in passing, but not enough to consider him a friend.

However, he came up to Jason at the end of their last class, and said, “Dude, I think Eve wants to fuck you.”

Jason sighed, and before he could respond, Brendon was saying, “And if that’s the case, you better do it. She’s fucking hot.” Brendon’s eyes were all buggy and huge. He seemed to be losing his composure at the thought of Jason _getting laid_.

Jason rolled his eyes, and then looked over at Brendon as they walked a ways down the hall before making it to Jason’s locker.

“That’s really helpful advice, thanks.” Jason scoffed, and then, somehow let the next sentence bypass the filter between his brain and his mouth, “We’re actually hanging out today.”

Brendon was like all the girls in this school, the way his jaw dropped and he punched Jason’s arm, “Dude, are you fucking serious?”

Great. Now everyone would know. Why did he tell Brendon?

At least, he thought, there was a two week period that would hopefully give the kids in his grade enough time for other things to occupy their stupid little heads, other than… _this_. Whatever it was. Jason couldn’t quite grasp the idea that this girl wanted to do anything but hang out with him. Where Brendon had even gotten the idea of fucking, Jason didn’t know. He didn’t really _want_ to know either, so he let Brendon babble about all the things Jason _should_ do if they were going to fuck, tuning most of it out as he always did.

But when Jason and Eve met up after class, Brendon gave him a serious look, only for Jason to turn away.

Eve was taller, not as tall as Jason, but taller than Francine. Although she was slender, she looked like she could kick Francine’s ass, along with all her friends. Hell, if she was in the right mood, and got the upper hand, she could probably kick _Jason’s_ ass. He wasn’t sure exactly why that was so appealing to him, but he let the thought flourish a little as he noticed Francine glaring at the two as they walked by.

“Keep track of how many dicks you eat on break, Francine, I think that’s important when they diagnose you with herpes.” Eve said in passing. The students within ear shot completely lost it, and Jason almost did as well. It felt euphoric walking through the halls with her, and even through the streets. Even when they sat on the train, right next to one another, showing each other their music. Her knees pressed to Jason’s leg, and he tried not to look at how far up her skirt had gone when she moved enough in her spot.

Eve wore her skirt almost as short as Francine and her little posse, but it looked way hotter on her, Jason had to admit.

They took the train to Gotham’s north side, and stopped by a coffee shop that Eve apparently frequented. The woman behind the counter had a couple piercings and tattoos all up and down her arms, and owned the place, Jason came to find out. She greeted Eve warmly, and then looked Jason up and down and gave Eve a suggestive look.

“Who’s this handsome young man?” why the hell did that make Jason blush? Maybe because this woman had no idea that it was still cold out, cold enough to wear a turtle neck, but she was wearing the complete opposite. Not like she couldn’t pull it off, Jason thought. Bruce would freak at the thought of Jason being in a place like this, around these people, and wandering through the city with a girl he barely knew. It was all Jason could think as he looked around the café.

One woman in the corner near the window, was drinking a coffee across from a man in a leather jacket. The woman was looking at Jason intently, not in judgment, or lust, but more like she knew him, and wanted to say something. She looked familiar to him, too, he thought, after Eve had gotten a nonfat latte with cinnamon sprinkled on top, and Jason got a small cup of coffee before they headed back out onto the streets.

Eve’s parents owned a sleek penthouse looking out on the city. It had five rooms, a view of the city in almost every single one of them, and a huge living room, with a huge TV. This place, to Jason at least, was far more amazing than Bruce’s mansion.

Eve’s room was the only one decorated outside of the color scheme of teal and coco brown. Instead, there was red, black and occasionally pink everywhere. Posters covering most of the wall, and red and pink string lights that lit up when she flipped a switch. Jason had to admit, he was a bit jealous. Bruce let him hang up a poster, or two, but that was it, and it had to be framed.

Eve’s room, though, was neatly put together. The maid, Jason thought. They had to have had a maid. Eve didn’t seem like the type of girl to keep her room perfectly organized and her bed made for when she came home.

“Jesus,” Jason exhaled.

“Like it?” she asked as she watched Jason look around.

A hint of cinnamon wafted up Jason’s nose as she moved past him. She talked about how her parents didn’t let her decorate her room, not until she turned sixteen, and they realized that her taste wasn’t going to change. She talked about always wanting to _be_ in a band, but her parents talked her out of it. She talked about what she wanted to go to school for, too, but Jason was too distracted when he realized she was changing her clothes _in the middle of her room, in front of him, without a care in the world. She was wearing a thong. Jason was going to pass out, he swore to god._

She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a cropped hoodie that said “Yale” across the chest. It was her dad’s hoodie, she said, and she had stolen it and cut it up, which pissed him off royally, “It’s not like he can’t get a new one, he goes there all the time to see his friends who are professors.”

He wondered if Eve’s parents knew she had a belly button piercing. How she’d managed that without being eighteen, wasn’t far beyond Jason’s realm of thought. Jason knew the shit people could get away with, even if it was illegal, or the lack of rules in certain neighborhoods.

“So…” she said finally, “what’s your story, Jason Todd? You got one? There’s no way Bruce is actually your dad.”

He didn’t even ask how she had heard that, he already knew. Although he and Bruce did look like they could be related, things didn’t add up, like how ‘all of a sudden Bruce Wayne has a different kid after his only child moves out’. No. No one believed that.

“Yeah, he’s not my dad…my real parents kind of fucked up.”

Eve made a face, and then asked, “So, what, you were in the foster care system?”

That was _one thing_ Jason was grateful for, he’d never been in that system, and he didn’t really ever want to be. He’d heard about it when he was living on the streets, and sure having a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in was nice, but did that really make up for all the horrible shit that seemed to happen in those places? At least in Gotham? Jason didn’t think so.

“No.” Jason said simply, walking over towards Eve’s bed as she patted the area next to her and scooted over. The bed was huge, which made plenty of room for both of them to have space.

She’d pulled her curly black hair up into a sloppy bun, and narrowed her eyes at Jason, silently demanding he tell her more.

“I was homeless.” Jason elaborated as he kicked off his shoes, and then pulled his legs up on the bed, mimicking Eve’s pose slightly before he slumped over and took a large drink of his coffee.

“No shit,” Eve breathed. She looked interested enough, but not so much that Jason felt the need to keep going. Not until she said, “How did Bruce end up finding you and taking you in?”

Jason set his paper cup down on the bedside table cluttered with jewelry, perfume bottles, a small lamp, and a small packet of pills.

“Uh, I was,” Jason stopped, trying to figure out a way to twist the story, because obviously he couldn’t tell the entire truth when it came to _that_ part, “I was stealing something, and the cops tried to arrest me…” he stopped again, and then finished, “Bruce was there, and he came to get me out of juvi, and then he took me in.”

Jason wasn’t a _terrible_ liar, but even to him that sounded like a load of shit, but knowing Eve, she was sheltered enough to believe it. Besides, that wasn’t _too far_ from the truth anyways.

Eve looked at Jason in quiet shock, saying, “Damn, that’s crazy. But kind of badass. You went to juvi?”

“A couple of times…” Jason stated, and that was true, “mostly just for shoplifting.” That, however, wasn’t. Jason had done worse, really.

Bringing it up wasn’t doing anything for him, but making Eve think that he was way _cooler_ than he actually was. If he was honest about being homeless, and how shitty it was, maybe Eve wouldn’t think it was so amazing.

“So you actually know the streets of Gotham, right? Like, probably more than I do.” Eve laughed nervously.

Jason made a face, and said, “I mean, I guess…I mostly just stayed on the east side.”

Suddenly Eve’s eyes went all wide and she gasped after she’d set her drink down hurriedly, “Isn’t Catwoman usually over there?”

Yes…and now that Jason thought about it, he wondered if that was who he saw in the café just a while ago. Selina wasn’t restricted to the east end, but when he was Catwoman, that was mostly the area that she looked over.

“Yeah…” Jason stated, and then proceeded to listen to Eve freak out, almost the way he used to get excited when he’d hear about Batman. Before Batman was… _basically_ his father figure. Eve loved Catwoman. She thought she was a total badass.

“I wish I could be like her…” Eve trailed off, and Jason couldn’t help but wonder _why_. Catwoman was a criminal…she didn’t want to be like Barbara? Batgirl? Batgirl was way more of a badass, Jason thought, and Eve clearly didn’t know her shit. At least, she only knew what she’d heard on the news, or on the street. Jason knew these people personally…so his view was entirely different.

Not stressing the subject for too long, Jason asked where her music was. This led into an hour or two of listening to music, and Jason finally discovering more music that he could add to his growing library. The fact that she knew so much about punk made Jason appreciate her more as a person. She seemed genuinely passionate about it.

Finally Jason asked, “So when do your parents get home?”

“Uhm,” Eve breathed, “well, mom is over in Zermatt visiting my aunt. And Dad is out of town looking into some teaching jobs. He really wants to move back to Connecticut, he hates Gotham.” She laughed. There was a slight pain that came to her expression before she sighed, “So, I’ll have the house to myself for a couple more days. It’s funny, Dad offered to give me money for a plane ticket to Jump City for spring break, but I hate the beach. And most of the people that hang out there…”

Jason laughed, and was trying to avoid thinking too much about the fact that her parents weren’t there, and that she was alone… _they_ were alone. As far as Jason knew, she didn’t have any siblings, at least not living with her. He tried to distract himself by thinking of more music that he could show her, that was until she looked at him, “Why were you asking?”

“I was just curious…” Jason almost choked on his words when he saw the look in her eyes, and her lip being pulled between her teeth.  The way her hoodie didn’t hid her waist and hips, and locks of hair fell here and there. She looked extremely sexy, even in sweats.

She smirked and then laughed a little, “Are you gunna get in trouble if you don’t get home by a certain time?”

“Uh-“ Jason really wanted to answer that, he tried to rationalize what time _was_ as Eve sat up on her knees and crawled over him on the bed to put her tapes on the floor beside his backpack, “well, yeah, I should probably get home by at least…six.”

How the hell was he going to get home? That’s right, he’d told Bruce he’d take the train, and call on a payphone when he got to the station closest to the house. He didn’t give Bruce a set time. How was Bruce so okay with Jason not giving him a set time? He supposed Jason was trustworthy. After all, doing well in school gave Jason a ton of leeway, on most things.

Eve sighed, “It’s like 4:30…”

That gave him an hour at best, because if he stayed out too long Bruce would search the whole city to find him, he just knew it.

It gave them an hour to…talk, or to do something other than whatever the hell Eve had in mind as she lied across his lap, and looked through all of his cassettes he’d brought with him. He could feel every curve on the front of her body, and he was trying hard not to look at the detail in her back, the way the slight muscles shifted, and the fact that her cropped hoodie didn’t cover even half of her torso when her arms were outstretched.

Jason let it happen, though. He let her lean over his lap, and tried to focus only on the Sex Pistols poster directly across from him instead of staring down at her flawless skin and the way her waist came in just below where the thick fabric cut off over her ribs.

“So, how did you do on your report card?”

Was that really what she was going to talk about, right now, as she kicked her legs up, and leaned over him ever more, gripping what she could of his thigh with her hand to keep her up on the bed.

“Fine…good…are you comfortable?” Jason finally asked, feeling the weight of her body go to his head and then his gut.

Eve turned, her rubber band growing a little loose, and a chunk of hair falling over her face as she smirked, “Are you?”

“I’m not the one who moved…”

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” Eve laughed, and her smile was beautiful, but Jason  wouldn’t let himself relax until she sat up, and kept herself over Jason’s lap while resting her hand beside his thigh. She was _really_ close to him.

“Am I?”

Jason looked at her the same way she looked at him, with intensity, and some sort of tension building as he said quietly, “No.”

Her lips moved up, and she snorted a little when she bit her lip, “Stop looking at me like that.”

“You started it-“ Jason said quietly, watching her reach up to pull her rubber band out. She shook out her hair, a floral smell hitting Jason when she looked down at his lap and then back up at him.

Jason wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t know why she was gazing at him like that, or that he didn’t look at her for the same reason, in the same way.

“Have you ever had sex?” Eve seemed extraordinarily blunt to begin with, so this question didn’t quite throw Jason off like he thought it might.

Jason was quiet, before he asked, “What do you think?”

“You definitely look like you could get any girl you want, but I don’t think you’re really aware of how hot you are.”

Jason laughed a little and shook his head, “Maybe you’re right…but I’m also really picky.”

“Then why are you spending time with me?” Eve asked curiously.

“Because…” Jason almost told her that he liked her, but he was worried what that would mean. He didn’t really want a girlfriend…then again he hadn’t had one yet.

“You’re different.” Jason said quietly, which made her chuckle and then whisper, “Stop.”

“You are…I like you. You wanna tell me there are other girls at school that listen to punk and are as beautiful as you?” Jason told her, most of it coming out on accident.

“Is it just my music taste that you like?” she asked before she laughed a little too loud.

There was something about being with her that made him realize that there wasn’t as much pressure as he thought there would be. If he was going to do anything with her, or if they were going to _be_ anything, she didn’t seem like the type that would be heartbroken if he changed his mind.

He almost asked her if she’d had sex before, but he had to admit, although he felt he was kind of shallow, and he did judge most of his peers, he really didn’t care when it came to Eve. Because, like he’d told her, she was different.

“No, of course not.” He told her, keeping his tone quiet and calm, “I actually wanted to talk to you for a while when you first transferred.”

She seemed to like that he’d said that, before she asked, “Why didn’t you?”

“Uhm, most people are intimidated by a pretty girl.” Jason said, “Plus, I don’t have a history of talking to…anyone in that school.”

“That’s why everyone looked at you like you were crazy for talking to me –“

So she had noticed that, he thought. Jason smirked, telling her, “Yeah, it had nothing to do with you; it had to do with me.”

She’d been in school all her life, and she’d been around enough guys to tell which of them were lying, which one of them pulled the whole ‘you’re the only girl I talk to’ shit…she knew Jason was telling the truth. Not only did she notice he never spoke to anyone, really, but what friends she’d made at their school told her that Jason was really quiet, and people thought he was a total asshole because of it.

There was not much she wanted to say to him after that. She only smiled briefly and then looked into his pale blue eyes, noticed the way he’d relaxed around her, and the look in his eyes had changed.

Before she could reach up and touch his face, he beat her to it, and pushed the loose lock of hair over her cheek back behind her ear. Quickly she gripped his wrist, in a way similar to what he’d done to Dick once, and kissed the inside of his palm.

Just as the thought of Dick started coming into his head, he pushed it out, focused on her and the way her eyelashes fluttered opened when she kissed the pad of his thumb and looked at him. She let his hand close around that side of her face, as he leant into her and kissed the side of her mouth, and then her cheek, and then her forehead. They were all fleeting kisses, but the feeling of warmth when he kissed her made her tilt her head into him. She’d shut her eyes, and let herself feel his face press into the side of hers before she rested her face into the crook between his neck and shoulder. Her lips pressed to the area just above the collar of his white shirt, and savored the soft, warm feeling of his skin against her lips and the tip of her nose. The smell of his cologne, and the feeling of his pulse, made her feel at peace.

Jason’s hand had sunk into her hair at the nape of her neck, as he lifted his head to rest over her hair. She kept kissing him, until she was biting and sucking gently, and Jason could feel the wetness of her saliva all over where his pulse was pounding away in his neck.

When he finally pulled her face up to kiss her, she exhaled harshly, and crawled over his lap. She pushed him down into the bed eagerly, into plush blankets, and a pile of pillows, and the kiss turned from soft to fierce in a matter of seconds.

Things had gotten carried away, Jason realized it when he noticed his fingers were curling around tender skin after he’d pushed his hands into her sweatpants, and she was quickly undoing the buttons on his shirt.

His mind was too clouded by lust, and the sight of Eve kissing her way down his chest as she undid his belt. Yet, somehow, Jason breathed out, “Maybe we should…wait,”

But Jason was way too hard to just stop, and he wanted this way more now, in the moment, especially when Eve pulled the hoodie over her head, and reached around to undo her bra as she asked, “What?” as if she hadn’t heard Jason.

The sigh he was going to let out got caught in his chest as she threw her bra to the side and leaned over him, pressing her chest to his and kissing him deeply again, asking against his lips, “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Jason breathed out, closing his hands around her face, and letting one wander down her back.

His body was relaxing, and tensing, on and off, but mostly all he could feel was her weight over his pelvis, and her lips wandering from his lips to his ear, tugging at his earlobe playfully with her teeth, and tracing a wet line with her tongue over the top. Just as her lips settled gently against his ear, she grinded down, trying to feel how hard he was through the barrier of his pants, and her own.

Although not as much as she would have liked, she could feel him. She groaned quietly against Jason’s ear, making his teeth grind together, before he jutted his hips up unintentionally, bucking her up and earning a high, yet still quiet moan from her.

“Jay,” the way she moaned his name was rewarding, and sounded much more pleasant than when anyone else shortened his name.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, squeezing as she sat up and grinded into him repeatedly, separating his legs when she stuck her feet in between his knees. Jason lay back, letting her shift her hips over him roughly, admiring her half-dressed body and the way her long hair fell over her chest, but not enough to hide the view of her breasts from him.

His lips were parted, and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, as he had easier time breathing out of his mouth than his nose.

“Fuck,” Jason breathed when she leant down again, and then moved most of her body between his legs as she tugged at his pants. Her hair trailed with the movement of her head down his torso, over his stomach, where it rested, hiding what she was doing. All Jason could do was feel, and he only half heartedly moved her hair, though he mostly let himself close his eyes when he felt her pull down his pants just enough to expose his erection, that was painfully hard by now.

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, grabbing her hand that traced lines down his abdomen with her nails as she went down on him, and ambitiously took his entire shaft in her mouth, or at least as much as she could.

“Fuck,” he said again, this time with more desperation. He was so focused on the way her mouth felt around him that he couldn’t keep track of both of her hands that now moved over his waist lazily, fingertips softly tracing the lines near his hipbone, and over his ribs.

After a couple of times that Eve took him completely in her mouth, he felt himself edging already, trying not to lose himself completely, because he wanted to do so much more than this.

However, it was something about the way she traded his waist for his shirt, and tugged, hard, that conjured up the image of Dick in his mind. He couldn’t bring himself to look down, to realize that it wasn’t Dick who was giving him a blowjob, it was a pretty girl, and he should be happy with that. It was enough. But the thought of it being Dick, paired with the sensation solely being on his cock was enough to force his hips up, no matter how hard as he’d tried to control himself.

Eve gagged, and then released his cock, watching him cup his hands over his face entirely instead of apologizing, “Easy there, big boy.” Eve said sensually.

“Just-“ Jason’s breathing was labored, and now he was brought back to the reality of the situation, reminding himself that he’d done so well not to think about Dick this whole entire time.

He watched Eve as she pulled her sweatpants and panties down at the same time. Now she was completely naked, and Jason just wanted to be with her, and not think of anything, or anyone else.

“Do you know how to give a girl an orgasm?” she questioned with a playful smirk as she crawled over him, but instead of doing what he wanted her to do most, she flopped down beside him, and yanked suggestively at his pants. He kicked them off of his legs, and Eve helped him remove his blazer and his shirt, as he said, “Not really.”

“Do you want to?”

“Fuck yes,” Jason breathed, his eyes half lidded now as Eve felt his biceps and praised his body just by the way she touched his chest and his thighs.

“I’ll just show you how I do it,” Eve whispered as she took Jason’s hand and guided it in between her legs, where Jason’s hand glided over smooth skin and he thought that there was no way she didn’t sleep with other guys, with the way her body looked and felt. However he once again reminded himself that he didn’t care. He really didn’t, and he didn’t want to.

She pushed his fingers into the right area, told him how to move, until he was doing it without her guidance, and he felt her hands gripping tightly at his forearm again. Jason could feel her growing wet, it made his mind swim and suddenly the room felt like it was spinning as he laid beside her, rutting his hips up against her and letting the clear precome leaking from his cock, making it easier to grind his cock into the side of her soft hips.

His other hand was loosely strung over her head, holding her against his face. He assumed he would know when she had an orgasm, and she definitely didn’t seem to have one before she grew so impatient and whispered, “Fuck this.” And shoved Jason down again.

It happened so fast, before Jason knew it he was completely inside of her, and her mouth hung open while her body adjusted around him.

Just in that moment Jason gripped her hips and choked out, “I don’t have a condom.”

“I’m on birth control, Jason, and it’s a little too late anyways.” She breathed, pinning his hands to the bed and bringing her hips up and then slowly moving back down.

He held his breath without realizing it, until he practically wheezed, “Oh my God,”

He’d never seen the big deal, of course, not until now that he was having sex, and how good it felt, suddenly he couldn’t blame people for wanting it so bad, and all the time. Sure Jason got horny from time to time, especially around Dick, but this had him losing his composure, and groaning when his lungs refused to cooperate.

“Do you wanna get on top?” she offered, which wasn’t really a thought in Jason’s mind, he was too consumed with the feeling of her moving over him and the slow roll of her hips and how deep he was inside of her.

He nodded, but wasn’t completely prepared to move, until she gripped the back of his neck and pulled his body over hers. Sweat had developed on his back, and his chest, and over the back of his neck, even more so when she encouraged him to move. His elbow dug into mattress as he thrust into her hesitantly at first.

“Just fuck me, Jason.” She breathed out, pushing his hair back with her hand and hooking her legs around the back of his hips.

When he began really losing himself in it, the only sound that came muffled under her moans and cries was the sound of her wooden headboard slamming into the wall. Jason felt himself starting to lose more and more control, he could hear his relentless pounding echoed in the noises she made that grew choppier now.

He breathed out heavily as she dug her nails into his forearms. When she hooked her ankles over Jason’s shoulders, he wondered how he was lasting this long, but when he instinctively gripped the back of her thighs and pushed her legs together and to the side, he had to slow almost to a stop to keep himself from finishing too early. She was so much tighter with her legs together, and the feeling of her thighs was almost blurring his vision.

“Jay,” she practically cried out, “please, keep going.”

She twisted her hips and he started to move against her when he leaned down into her, and heard her whisper, “Come inside of me,” and those words made Jason lean into her neck and let out a loud, long groan as he finished inside of her, his hips once again pounding mercilessly into her until he was gripping her thighs with sweaty palms desperately and feeling her grind down into him.

Jason let out one more relieved groan that echoed throughout her dimly lit room.

She exhaled, and hooked her arm around Jason’s neck as he pulled out and slid down beside her on the bed. For a long while afterwards, his breathing was still heavy, but his whole body began to feel exhausted and limp. He could have easily drifted off to sleep, until she pushed her fingers through his hair tenderly and asked, “You okay?”

He nodded, and finally opened his eyes, “Yeah, I’m…I’m good.” He breathed.

When she moved off of the bed, insisting she would be a second, she disappeared into a door that Jason hadn’t even seen before.

He glanced up at the time, and realized that he probably needed to leave soon, but not quite yet. He considered how that might seem, if he just up and got dressed and left. He pulled his boxers on just as he heard her finishing up in her bathroom.

Breathing out as she approached the bed, she grinned as she observed his boxers before she said, “You didn’t have to do that.”

Watching her smile before she got back onto the bed with him and wrapped her arms around his waist, Jason murmured, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Eve laughed, and then let silence fall on the room. Jason’s arm was wrapped around her tightly, and her body felt warm against the side of his.

It was nice, just being with her this way, no pressure to make conversation just the quiet whir of the heating system in the house kicking on and feeling her breath against his chest and her naked body half draped over him. He could get used to having days like this.

When he turned his head to kiss her forehead, she kissed his lips before he could lean down.

“We should do this again sometime,” Eve told Jason with a satisfied grin.

“Sometime soon…” Jason added, “Like, tomorrow or something,” he half meant it, and she laughed loudly in amusement.

Eve bit her lip before she said, “I’d be okay with that.”

They laid there for quite a while; Jason began to feel his eyelids growing abnormally heavy as her breathing grew heavier as if she were already sleeping.

When Jason started to get off the bed, she whined quietly and gripped his waist, even as he insisted, “I should probably get going before Bruce panics.”

“Fuck Bruce,” she mumbled groggily making Jason chuckle as he grabbed his clothes off of the floor.

Once Jason was fully dressed, and kissed her cheek firmly as if he was going to leave without her, she began to sit up quickly.

“Wait, I’ll walk you down to the station,”

His hand was on her hip when he said, “It’s okay, babe.”

The moment she realized what Jason had had said to her, made her force herself up, and hum, “Jay,” as she closed her arms around his neck.

She kissed Jason’s lips firmly, and said quietly, “Can’t you just tell him you’re staying the night at a friend’s house.”

Jason thought about it for a moment, but he already knew he couldn’t skip patrol, he’d already been half-assing it. So he was honest with her, “I actually have work in the evening…it’s only a couple of hours, but Bruce wouldn’t let me skip it.”

“Really?” Eve said, stitching her eyebrows together in confusion, “That kinda sucks.”

“It’s money,” Jason lied, and then pulled his blazer on.

It took ten extra minutes getting out of her hold, which was half due to the fact that Jason didn’t want to leave her. He insisted he could walk down to the station by himself, even after she offered to drive him home, before murmuring that she wasn’t supposed to take her father’s BMW out.

The train ride across town wasn’t so bad; Jason was too busy staring out the window listening to music, and thinking about how he’d spent the past couple of hours. He knew he was going to call her again in the morning to see if she wanted to hang out again.

Once the car pulled up to the station, Jason stood from the bench and hurried between the crowd of people and opened the door. He was shocked to see Bruce staring forward and waiting for Jason to get in the car.

“Hey…I thought Alfred was picking me up.” Jason said, looking at Bruce a little too worriedly. Bruce knew what Jason had been doing all afternoon, Jason thought. That look on Bruce’s face said everything, he looked even more serious than usual.

Once they got onto the road leading to the manor, Bruce broke the silence in the car by saying, “So, do you want to tell me where you really were?”

Jason hadn’t even bothered to look at himself in a mirror to make sure he didn’t look too disheveled. But Bruce looked at a certain spot on his neck, he thought, and his chest, when Jason looked down and noticed his buttons were done up crookedly. He clearly didn’t care enough about Bruce knowing.

Not until Jason was in the car with him and he was waiting for Bruce to _absolutely lose his shit_.

There was silence again, until Jason thought that there was no point in lying to Bruce. If he was fucking around with Dick _that_ was a good reason to lie but Jason was with a girl. He knew that wasn’t the worst thing he could have been doing. So he looked out the window, and said, “I was with a friend.”

Silence. And even more tension.

“A girl?” Bruce finally asked sternly.

“Yes.” Jason confessed, staring forward.

Bruce shook his head, “Why did you lie to me, Jason?”

“I’m not lying to you now- “

When he looked over at Bruce, he noted the fact that he didn’t look _too_ pissed, just frustrated as he stated, “I appreciate that, however I’d like to have an honest answer if you’re planning on going somewhere outside of school.”

“Sorry…I just didn’t think you’d be okay with it.” Jason told Bruce honestly, and still waited for the other shoe to drop, for Bruce to start lecturing him about getting a girl pregnant. And that did come, but the moment Jason told Bruce that they used protection, the only thing Bruce was uneasy with was the fact that he thought Jason barely knew this girl. This, of course, was truer than when Jason said, “We’ve been friends for a while.”

Bruce didn’t press the issue much after that, except for saying, “Just be careful, Jason…you’re a smart kid, I know you will be, but…girls can be unpredictable, and you have to be…careful with them.”

“I know.” Jason said quietly.

Jason was taking everything in stride.

Most of spring break had passed, and Jason realized that they’d spent almost every afternoon together. They weren’t ‘dating’ he didn’t think, until Bruce asked if they were. When they went back to school, people thought they were dating, and people often asked them if that was the case.

That question lingered in the air between them, until they went to the café near Eve’s house, and Millie, the owner of the cafe said, “It’s so good to see you having a boyfriend, Eve…you’re so grown up.”

As they were in the elevator, alone, Eve finally turned to Jason, and said, ‘I’m sorry if that freaked you out…that Millie said you were my boyfriend…”

Jason looked down at her, and shrugged, “Didn’t freak me out,” said Jason.

“Oh…” Eve murmured. Once the elevator dinged after reaching their floor, Eve looked over to him again, and asked, “Are you my boyfriend?”

Jason had to admit, he didn’t think she had this nervous side to her, or any sort of cautiousness. However, with Jason, she was careful, and he could tell she was trying not to freak him out or scare him away, though, she had no idea how hard that would really be.

“I can be if you want me to be.” Jason told her as they stepped off the elevator.

“I think I do.”Eve said quietly, and nervously, unsure of what to expect from Jason. To her surprise he nodded and said, “Okay.”

As they walked into her parents place, Jason was startled to hear a man calling out Eve’s name. The man who stood at the edge of the kitchen was about Jason’s height, he looked a little too old to be Eve’s father, but much to Jason’s surprise, he was.

After Eve gave her father a hug, she grabbed Jason’s waist and pulled him over to the kitchen, “Dad, this is Jason…”

Eve’s father reached out his hand, though he looked like he was confused, until he said, “Oh, you’re Bruce’s boy! It’s nice to meet you!”

Compared to the horror stories he’d heard from other guys about meeting their girlfriend’s parents, especially their fathers, Jason meeting Eve’s father went surprisingly well. His name was Clint, and apparently he’d heard about what a good student Jason was, which Jason found a little weird initially, but he knew that those parents and the staff talked about the students, no matter who they were. Bruce had even been a little more social with the other parents since Jason had started attending the school.

It felt weird being referred to as something similar to Bruce’s son, even if that was how their relationship felt, Jason never thought of Bruce as his father, really. More as a mentor who also acted as a parental figure.

Shortly after meeting both of Eve’s parents, and most people in their school being aware that Eve and Jason were dating, Bruce brought up bringing Eve over to the manor. Jason felt unsure of whether he wanted to do that or not. But it couldn’t have been much different from going to Eve’s place, except that there were more rules, or at least that was how it felt. Bruce seemed as though he was always there, whereas, at Eve’s place, Clint and Mallory usually….weren’t. Or at least it didn’t _feel_ like they were home, because they left Jason and Eve alone.

No one would believe Bruce was such a recluse, with how graceful he was socially. Jason was expecting it to be awkward when they finally met Eve, but it was the opposite. Eve and Bruce talked about certain things that Jason didn’t even know Eve was interested in. Like the history of Gotham, Eve had a particular interest in the old criminal underworld, and the current one. Bruce acted _totally_ natural, but Jason panicked, wondering if Bruce would slip up and admit he beat the shit out of half of the criminal underworld _once a week_. That was how it felt to Jason, anyways.

Soon enough, Eve began coming to the manor, and letting Jason load her up with books that she ‘should’ read. She read most of them, but not all of them, and she often said, “You’re such a nerd, I love you.” But Jason was never sure whether the end of that sentence was a statement or part of her poking fun at him.

One day they were walking through the house to the library when Eve startled the hell out of Jason when she gasped loudly and ran over to the room to his left.

“Oh my God! This piano is so nice!” she hissed, as if she wasn’t sure if she should have been in that room. Her hands hovered over the mahogany piano and the keys, Jason could see how badly she wanted to sit down but that she wasn’t sure.

“You can play it!” Jason laughed as he watched her bite her lip and look at him pleadingly, “I’ve messed around on it before.”

Without more than a quiet squeal, she sat at the bench and pressed down on a couple of keys and messed with the pedals.

“Do you play?” Jason asked her quietly, shutting the door to the room.

“Yeah! What do you wanna hear?” Jason almost looked like he didn’t believe her. He had come to find out, over the three months that they had been together, that Eve was not just some rebellious teenage girl. Her parents genuinely cared about her, and she was passionate about music in general. Jason had seen sides of her that he didn’t even know she had, in such a short amount of time, and she had seen the same from Jason.

So when she played the piano, and then explained that she had been playing for years, but her parents left their piano in Connecticut, he wasn’t too surprised.

“You play really well,” Jason told her, to which she responded, “I could teach you how to play, if you wanted…”

Jason glanced up, prepared to answer her, but the way the light that shone through the window was striking her caused Jason to get distracted. When she smiled and asked if he was okay, he thought he heard Bruce talking down the hall.

“I just…you’re really beautiful.” Jason laughed nervously, as if they hadn’t been dating for a couple of months and he didn’t say that regularly, although he really did, and he wanted to say so much more.

Just as she leaned in to kiss him, the door to the room opened, and Eve jolted away from him.

“Oh, sorry,” came a laugh that instantly made Jason go pale, “I guess I should’ve knocked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kay so Jason and Eve are a thing, but next, the conflict and angst returns! Oh, how fun.


	5. if it could only be like this always...always summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longggg and there is a lottttt of smut towards the end. You've been warned *winkwink*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Jason's birthday today! So I figured may as well finish up this chapter and post it as a way of celebration (or something??)  
> also I've made a tumblr for this a03 and batfamily stuff i'll be posting! the handle is entre-nouss.tumblr  
> Enjoy this chapter!!

Jason rolled his eyes heavily before he turned to see Dick standing in the doorway. Dick noticed that Jason looked the opposite of pleased to see him, but once he’d heard from Bruce that Jason had a girlfriend, he couldn’t say he was entirely surprised.

He could already hear Jason’s complaints, asking him why he’d even come to Gotham.

“Sorry,” Jason apologized in a whisper to Eve as they both stood up, “Uhm, Eve this is Dick, my….”

“Brother…step brother, anyways,” Dick finished his sentence immediately. Jason wasn’t even comfortable calling him his step brother, or any other family member for that matter, because they _weren’t_ related and he didn’t _pretend_ like they were…most of the time.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Eve said after she shook Dick’s hand, but when she looked up to Jason, he was staring at Dick with a look of disgust.

“Yeah, I forgot to mention it, I guess.” Jason dismissed it. Dick looked between the two of them, before he let out an awkward chuckle and said, “Yeah, well, Jason’s kinda senile, even though he’s not even 20.”

Eve laughed at this, and a tight ball of anger grew in Jason’s stomach steadily.

Alfred and Bruce offered Eve to stay over for dinner, but what with Jason’s seemingly permanent grimace and inability to even explain who Dick was, she wasn’t eager to stay.

Finally, though, after she’d said her parents would probably have dinner ready when she got home, and a place set for her, Jason pulled her aside.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I’m just…I didn’t expect… _him_ to be visiting, it kinda threw me off.” Jason explained quietly, however he knew that it didn’t excuse his behavior.

Eve looked at him worriedly, and asked, “Do you guys not get along?”

Jason sighed through his nose and then opened his mouth, looking overwhelmed before he stated, “It’s a really long story. Listen…when you get home, I’ll call you and explain _everything,_ I promise. I just…need to like…go to my room and take a breather.”

“Okay,” she whispered, still looking concerned, “Yeah, call me, I really want to know why this is bothering you so much. But listen, I know this may not help, just…whatever it is don’t let it get to you, okay? If you guys were fighting, or whatever, you can always come over to my place.”

There were no words Jason could ever say to explain how grateful he was for the kind of girlfriend Eve had turned out to be, and the kind of relationship they had thus far. Especially now, he really thought about it, paired with the sick feeling that Dick was somehow going to fuck everything up for them.

Clint had come to pick Eve up, and what time they spent waiting, they sat in the living room, mostly in silence as Eve rubbed Jason’s thigh and his shoulders when she could while he spaced out looking at the TV, not even aware what program was on.

As usual, Clint came in and spoke to Bruce for a couple of minutes. They got along really well, another thing Jason could have been thankful for.

Jason and Eve stayed just at the top of the stairs for a moment, kissing heatedly before Clint called out for her.

After Eve left, Jason stood in the foyer, trying to decide whether he wanted to retreat to his room until dinner time, or if he wanted to go and put Dick on blast for not only showing up unannounced, but walking in on him and Eve.

Either way, he knew that there was no avoiding Dick.

He wasn’t surprised to find Dick in the kitchen, talking to Alfred in hushed tones.

“Oh, hey,” Dick said, with a mouthful of food, whatever the hell he was eating Jason wanted to make him choke on it while he waited for Dick to explain himself, “I feel like I’m intruding,”

Jason wanted to confirm for him that he was, but instead watched Dick shove two large olives in his mouth and shrug, “Sorry, I wasn’t even aware you were dating someone.”

That sounded incredibly vague. Why couldn’t he just say that Jason had a girlfriend? Jason wondered if Dick felt any sort of resentment at all towards him or Eve. Once Bruce walked into the kitchen, the conversation shifted before Jason could start throwing mean comments at Dick like he wanted to.

Bruce and Alfred asked Dick about how things were in Bludhaven, and Jason felt like he had no place in that conversation, mostly because he knew _enough_ of what was going on with Dick. So, instead of forcing himself to have a conversation he couldn’t care less about, Jason pushed the swinging door open and made his way up the stairs, half tempted to call Eve, but he knew well enough that she wouldn’t have been home yet. Hell, they probably weren’t even back in Gotham yet. They’d _just left_ and now that Dick was here, time moved slower.

It took forever for dinner to be ready, and by the time it was, Jason was so hungry that he immediately wolfed down what was on his plate.

Only once did Dick try to talk to him while they ate, asking how he and Eve started dating, which Jason simply mumbled, “We started talking about music in class and it just kinda went from there.” And if Jason hadn’t been mad at Dick, he may have talked about it with a little more enthusiasm.

But really Jason just wanted to finish his dinner, go upstairs and have some peace and quiet before he had to listen to Dick ramble on like he always did, one of the quirks that Jason used to like about Dick, but now found infuriating.

Jason had no homework to do, he only had college pamphlets to look over again, and the occasional relief when he thought of the amount of money Bruce had put away for him, if he _couldn’t decide_ what he wanted to do after graduation. Much to Jason’s relief, Bruce didn’t push him one way or the other.

Time passed, and Jason kept watching the clock, knowing that he would go down to the cave at 9:30 on the dot and change.

Finally, he let the time pass by reading and listening to music, two tasks that he used to not be able to do together until he started studying and finding the silence irritating. He mostly listened to instrumental music while he read, because if there were any words, he would get distracted and absorb absolutely nothing.

He was leaning over a book held open by extended fingers on his bed when he heard a knock.

“Yeah,” Jason grumbled, already knowing it was Dick.

“Hey…” Dick peered in, “Can I come in?”

“ _Go_ for it,” Jason said with sarcastic enthusiasm that made Dick want to turn on his heel and leave, but he knew that was Jason’s intent, so he did the opposite.

He sat in Jason’s desk chair, after shutting the door, and waited for Jason to look up at him. When Jason finally did, it was a fleeting glance before he asked, “Were you gunna say something or just sit there and stare at me?”

“Which one do you prefer?” Dick asked, tossing his sarcasm back at him.

Jason sighed impatiently, and then shut his book violently and looked over at Dick expectantly.

“Sorry I walked in on you and your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Jason said, trying to seem as if  he didn’t care about that mishap to begin with.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend, anyways? Is there a reason you didn’t bring it up?” Dick asked, and much to Jason’s surprised, he sounded a little hurt.

Jason picked at a loose piece of lint on the comforter when he explained, “I wasn’t talking to you at all when Eve and I started dating.”

He already knew that Dick was going to say something to piss him off; it wasn’t hard at the moment. But he tried to be patient, and answer somewhat honestly. He only nodded when Dick said, “Bruce said you guys have been dating for, like, three months?”

After Jason nodded, Dick said, “Congratulations.” In a patronizing way that made Jason look up at him as if Dick should feel stupid for saying that.

Unable to resist the urge to say _I told you so_ , Dick started, “I told you school wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought – “

“Yeah, you were right, I was wrong.” Jason said in mock defeat, watching Dick roll his eyes.

“I’m just saying…it’s good to see you doing well. I was worried about you.” Dick tried to reason with Jason, tried make the younger man realize he didn’t need to have that hostility anymore.

However, Jason still asked, “Why?”

Dick tried to word it carefully, but at times like these, he knew it didn’t matter. If Jason was going to be upset, he would make it his mission.

“You just…you were really upset when I left, and you were depressed when you first started school. When you called me that one night…I mean, that was concerning. You know I just want you to be happy,” Dick continued, emphasizing those words while he looked at Jason intently, “ and I would help in whatever way I could. But now it seems like things are going great for you, and that makes me…happy. When you’re happy, I’m happy…you know?” there was a long pause, before Dick added, “I do care about you Jason.” Dick thought he was getting through to Jason, until he watched him look away and press his fingers into his temple.

“Thanks,” Jason grounded out, “I’m glad you’re happy.” He almost sounded spiteful as he said the last bit. Why was he still upset?

“But… _you_ are happy, right?” Dick asked, trying to reiterate his point, and assuming he knew the answer, although he could have been wrong. _Bruce_ could have been wrong about what he told Dick.

Jason looked down, and then inhaled before sighing, “I’m just trying to get my life together as much as possible.”

Finally Jason’s icy blue eyes looked up at the older man, imploring him, and half expecting it when Dick stated, “That doesn’t answer my question,”

Dick’s soft expression had hardened, as he grew serious. Part of him did worry that Jason was putting on an act, or maybe… _hoped_ that he was, in some twisted way.

Jason shook his head, but said, “Yes, I’m happy. Okay?”

No, it wasn’t okay, because that didn’t sound like the truth. But Dick worried that if he pushed hard enough, he would make Jason feel like he should say whatever he needed to in order to get Dick out of his room.

When Jason moved his head a certain way, Dick could see a bruise on his neck, and he couldn’t help but glance around Jason’s room, thinking he would  find something to answer the question he wasn’t going to ask. Whether Jason was having sex or not, was not brought up between Dick and Bruce. There were certain things that just didn’t seem like Dick’s place to know, or judge.

Yet, he still murmured, “Just be careful.”

“What does that mean?” Jason immediately jumped on those words.

“I mean, just in general, be careful.” Dick tried to cover his ass quickly, but it didn’t work, Jason was gritting his teeth and seemingly trying hard to keep his mouth shut.

With a look of disgust, Jason grimaced, “Yeah, you too, Dick.”

Dick could tell that with Jason’s tone, he was no longer in the mood to talk. Then again, he was never in the mood to talk, and he was so quick to snap on Dick that it almost made Dick want to distance himself from the younger man. However, he found himself making excuses, the most common of them all was excusing Jason’s behavior because _he’s a fucking teenager_.

But when Jason was angry, it was vindictive, and whomever he was taking it out on would feel responsible and unexplainably guilty, even if they hadn’t done anything wrong.  

Just before he walked out of the room, Dick reminded Jason, “You know, if you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here.”

Jason didn’t respond before Dick shut the door. There was so much that Jason wanted to talk about, so much that he knew he was pushing down, but couldn’t just bring up, not with anyone. Jason thought about the way he was with Eve, and there were times that he wondered if the only reason he’d gotten into a relationship with her was to convince himself he no longer had feelings for Dick. Because he _couldn’t_ have feelings for Dick, and for him to have a girlfriend seemed _right_ even if it was only to appease the others ideas of what he ought to do.

He felt so conflicted. He didn’t want all of the secretive aspects that came with Dick, but more than anything, he wanted to be with Dick…more than he wanted to be with Eve. He hated admitting that to himself.

It was easy, when Dick wasn’t there. Maybe, eventually, before Dick left, Jason would level with him, and then ask him not to come around, at least not while he was still Robin. He was a distraction to Jason, and just as Jason had told the older man, he was trying to get his life together.

Perhaps Dick couldn’t help the way he made other people feel, but he could decide whether to lead them on or not. Jason felt that the way Dick strung him along wasn’t fair. He should have told Jason no, from the beginning. Jason knew it was wrong, and knew Dick had every right to reject him, however, too much had ensued, and too much had been said for Jason to just… _forget_ everything and push it out of his mind.

Dick went out on patrol with them that night, as expected.

It was all going fine, as long as Jason stayed far enough ahead or behind not to deal with Dick. However, there came a point that the man with the knife that Jason was readying to kick in the face had another friend run up and slice through his flexible armor, leaving a gash in Jason’s arm that immediately started to throb and gush blood. He still took the guys out, but there was a considerable amount of blood dripping from his wound, so much that he started to feel dizzy.

The instant panic that hit Bruce when he heard the way Jason tried to say his name, struggling to  do so, and instead  mumbling, “Br-B-uh,” bracing himself against one of the brick walls in the alleyway.

Jason found it pretty incredible that neither Bruce, nor Dick saw him get cut by that sack of shit, as Bruce immediately wrapped his arm up the best he could, trying not to panic. Jason definitely needed stitches, but he wasn’t ready to go home. He always protested, until he nearly collapsed and Bruce wrapped his arms around Jason’s limp body, cursing under his breath, much to Jason’s surprise.

“Dick…go get the car,” Bruce breathed, and Jason couldn’t quite tell whether Bruce was angry, or worried, or both.

“What happened, Jay?” Bruce asked as he held Jason in his arms while kneeling down, letting him lean against the cold, and wet wall.

“One…one of those guys…I didn’t even see him, but he came up behind me,”

“Okay,” Bruce said easily, “It’s okay, just keep your eyes open.”

Bruce couldn’t decide whether he should take Jason to the hospital, or let Dick drive him home as quickly as he could. However, the more pressure he put on Jason’s wound, and after he’d gone back and wrapped it up tighter, the color started to come back to Jason’s face.

“I’m an idiot,”

“Don’t say that,” Bruce scolded him half heartedly, “accidents happen…” though he knew Bruce didn’t really believe that, or find it acceptable, it was different with Jason, “Do you still feel lightheaded?”

“No,” Jason stated the moment Dick pulled the batmobile up to the curb. Once he stood steady for a moment, Bruce knew it was okay to send him home.

“Drive carefully, Dick. And keep an eye on him…make sure he doesn’t fall asleep, and make sure Alfred stitches him up as soon as possible.” Bruce said to Dick as he helped Jason into the car. He told Jason to keep pressure on his wound, and talk to Dick if he felt lightheaded again.

Dick drove swiftly through the streets, and sped up on the main road back to the house.

Every now and then, he would look over at Jason, and ask if he was okay.

However, when Dick asked what happened, Jason said, “I guess I just got distracted…I don’t know, I didn’t even see the guy.”

Dick knew it wasn’t like Jason to slip up and make a mistake like that. He knew that Bruce was worried for exactly that reason. Jason was sharp, and fast, and brutal when he needed to be.

But Dick couldn’t just say _that’s not like you._ Dick saved that discussion for Bruce and Jason.

Jason was fine, even as Alfred put stitches in his arm after it had gone numb. Dick had gone back out to aid Bruce, and after Alfred offered to make Jason a cup of tea or coffee, Jason said, “I think I can go back out, I don’t know why Dick just left without me.”

“I’m afraid you’re in no condition to be out on patrol. You may not be for at least a week. Your stitches need to heal, as does your wound, I’m sure you know this master Todd.” Alfred said dismissively.

Finally Jason sighed and then murmured, “Well, if you don’t mind, maybe I will take you up on that cup of tea. Bruce already told me I can’t go to bed until he gets back, because he wanted to make sure my arm looks okay.”

Instead of Alfred suggesting it would be fine, he told Jason that he could make him a cup of earl grey if he’d like.

When they went up to the main house, in the kitchen, Jason asked, “So, did you guys know Dick was going to be visiting?”

“Oh,” Alfred sighed, “Master Grayson has always showed up at random, not that we don’t enjoy it. I only wish that I could make sure his room was dusted, and prepared for him…though he is low maintenance.”

“It’s been like that since he moved out? He doesn’t warn you guys?” Jason asked with a slight smirk in amusement.

Alfred only made a face, as if to say _what can you do_. After that, Jason asked about when Dick was Robin, and if things had changed that much. This only led to Alfred telling him plenty of stories, at first about injuries that Dick had gotten on patrol, and then the way Dick would always get to the cave before Bruce, or even Alfred, usually startling him.

Hearing Alfred talk about Dick the way he did made Jason slightly more forgiving when Bruce and Dick got home. At first, Bruce came into his room, relieved to see that he hadn’t fallen asleep. Shortly after Bruce came in, Dick stood in the doorway; leaning against the frame and watching Bruce move the gauze to look at the stitches.

“Yeah,” Bruce sighed, “they got you pretty good. How are you feeling?”

Jason spoke quietly, “I’m fine. Just tired.”

Suddenly, Jason worried about what he would tell Eve. Maybe he could say that he and Dick did…something stupid, he didn’t know what yet, but that ended up with him gashing his arm pretty good. He hated that he had to lie, most of the time, to Eve. And now that Dick was in town, he’d probably have to make shit up more frequently.

After Bruce asked, again, what had happened, Jason looked to the side with clear guilt and muttered, “I already said I don’t know…I just didn’t see the guy.”

When Bruce saw the look on Jason’s face, he nodded and then said, “We’ll talk about it later, when you’re rested.”

Jason wanted to say that there was nothing more to talk about. He knew how Bruce was, though. But at the same time, Jason couldn’t be honest, and say that Dick being with them distracted him. He wasn’t watching Dick fight, but he felt Dick watching him, only turning away at the _worst_ possible time.

Dick had moved out of the way for Bruce as he stepped out, and told the boys goodnight.

Now Jason sat in his bed, with the cover’s over his legs and a t-shirt that was a little too big for him clinging to his shoulders. He watched Dick walk into his room, and resisted picking the book up when Dick sat on the bed beside him.

“Sorry,” was all Dick said. Jason wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, so he murmured, “For what?”

“I should have had your back…” and while that statement was probably meant towards what had happened that night, Jason thought that it could have been a general statement about the way things had gone between them since they’d met.

Jason sighed, “It’s fine, I should have seen the guy coming. I shouldn’t need you guys to back me up. It was just an accident.”

Jason said what he could to mostly blame himself for what had happened. He didn’t want to look at Dick, because when he did, he saw the look on the older man’s face, as if he was about to try and have a deep a conversation again that would be emotionally draining for both of them.

Instead, though, Jason murmured, “I’m tired.”

Dick let him go to bed, and left his room without looking back at him like he usually did.

As Jason tried to go to sleep that night, he wondered how long Dick would be staying this time, and if he would go on patrol with them every night. He also wondered if Dick expected him to spend more time with him, but knew that he couldn’t expect too much due to the fact that Jason now spent most of his time with Eve.

Dick fell asleep easier, mostly because he still hadn’t caught up on sleep from driving from Blüdhaven to Gotham in one trip, plus he immediately went on patrol with Bruce and Jason that night.

Still, Dick was busy trying to be okay with Jason having a girlfriend.

However, he couldn’t help the feeling of hostility towards the girl. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be protective because he didn’t want Jason to get hurt, and he knew how girls could be, or if it was something else. Dick thought that it was easier for Jason than it was for him. Jason had decided that it wasn’t worth it, thinking too much about Dick, obviously, but Dick had to constantly argue with himself, making sure he’d made the right move by distancing himself, for the most part, from Jason and what had happened over Christmas.

Now, though, Dick felt angry…at himself.

Days passed, and much like before, Dick knew that there would be some sort of confrontation between Jason and him. He could tell by the way Jason avoided him, and the way he immediately brought Eve up to his room when she came over.

Dick also went to his room, that was right next to Jason’s, but he wasn’t sure why. He had no reason to be in there, if anything, he knew he should have been in the cave doing work, or at least out exploring Gotham, because the house was hot-not that the city would be much better, but at least he could maybe meet new people, see old friends, have a beer, act his goddamn age rather than sitting in his room all quiet and listening to Jason’s and Eve’s muffled voices.

_What are you doing, what is wrong with you_ Dick thought to himself as he neared the wall and pressed his ear to it. He had already locked his door, and yes, he still felt guilty for listening to the way Eve said, “Poor baby,” in a small tone, and audibly kissed what Dick only thought was Jason’s arm.

He thought about the way Jason looked, just as bruised up as they all were from patrol every damn night, but now with a very pronounced scar on his arm, and his hair pushed back from Eve’s fingers.

“It’s fine.” Jason murmured, “I think maybe since it’s visible people will think I got in a street fight –“

Dick could hear them laugh together, because Eve didn’t know that was what had actually happened. He wondered if there was any way that, with their lifestyle, they could be in a happy relationship, because once the habit of lying was normal, it would keep going, and probably get worse. Jason would lie about bigger things, like where he got that kind of wound.

What if he ended up in the hospital again, Dick thought, what would he tell Eve then? Jason, and Bruce, and Dick for that matter were always getting hurt. But Dick only seriously dated people he could be honest with, people who already knew what he did and lead almost the same kind of life.

“Please be careful, Jay,” Eve said, “I hate it when you get hurt. Especially when I don’t know about it for a while. I would have come over and taken care of you.”

_No you wouldn’t have_ Dick thought. His neck grew stiff by the time he heard them grow silent, and then a quiet noise from Jason.  Dick shut his eyes, and tried to move away from the wall, before Jason said, “I wish you would have.”

“Yeah,” Eve laughed a little, “I would’ve worn a sexy nurse uniform, too.”

And once again, they laughed together, but Jason suddenly murmured, “Maybe I should go out and get hurt again, give you another chance so you can actually take care of me,”

“Just don’t get hurt too bad…as long as you can still fuck me without hurting yourself.” Her own words sending her into a fit of giggling laughter.

He could hear Eve shriek when the headboard slammed against the wall, and Dick could hear her laughing, “Jason, oh my God,”

He imagined Jason was on top of her, holding her down and kissing her before she moaned. Finally Dick stepped back from the wall,  feeling the anger that had knotted up in his stomach and made his shoulders tense.

Instead of listening to what would ensue, Dick got dressed into some clothes suitable for the weather, and decided to take his motorcycle out instead of one of Bruce’s nicer cars.

He wasn’t sure where he would go, but he found himself worrying about parking his bike outside on the street of a familiar apartment building.

It wasn’t too surprising when Barbara flung open the door and hugged him tightly, saying, “What are you doing here?!”

“Just came by to say hi,” he waited until they were in the apartment, with the door shut, to say, “and see if you wanted to go out tonight…that is if you’re not busy.”

“You wanna go out like _right now_?” Barbara asked with a laugh. Her apartment was hotter than Bruce’s house, and she was dressed more appropriately than Dick. He looked Barbara up and down, how her toned legs were now tanned and there were freckles all over her skin, and the way she turned and smiled at him. He breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling a little more at ease being in her presence.

She sighed happily, “Richard Grayson why can’t you tell _anyone_ when you’re coming into town?”

Dick sat on her couch, was relieved to know there was no one else in her apartment before he said, “I thought maybe you’d hear it from Bruce. Besides, I like surprising people.”

She shook her head in disapproval but still smiled widely as she turned down the TV with her back facing him. Suddenly he stood up again, and stood dangerously close to her, speaking quietly into her ear, “I hope I’m not intruding.”

The visible little shiver Barbara did made him smirk, as she scoffed, “Give me a fucking break, you know you’re not. Not like that would stop you.”

The wooden floors were scattered with books and piles of paper, and the occasional article of clothing.

Barbara breathed in through her mouth, but let Dick wrap his arms around her, moving his hands up her tank top, and pushing his face into her neck, breathing in her scent and feeling the warmth of her skin on his lips.

“So I take it you’re not dating anyone.” Dick assumed, praying he was right, because if he was wrong, he’d feel like a total jackass.

“I’m too busy for that,” Barbara insisted quietly, staring down at the TV screen that had the news on. The volume was muted, and only the air-conditioning and the five fans she had going in her living room could be heard.

“Too busy to come out with me tonight?” Dick asked, and she could smell his cologne and his aftershave as he moved his lips to her ear.

“Oh,” she breathed, bringing her shoulders up before turning her face towards his, “Even if I was, I don’t think anyone can say no to you.” She turned to him, pulling her glasses off and tossing them onto the table, “You look good.” She told him as she wrapped her arms around the back of Dick’s neck.

He had been with Barbara on and off for the past several years, so kissing her, and being with her every now and then when he came into town, felt more than natural to the both of them. He wished he were doing it for the right reasons, though.

After Barbara changed into a black and white cotton dress that flowed over her thighs, Dick noticed it wasn’t quite long enough to keep him from watching her walk across her apartment. He stood up from the couch and shut off the TV, walking towards her as she adjusted her long curls.

She grabbed a small purse from the kitchen counter, shut the lights off, and continued to tell Dick about a bar that she’d found, off the beaten path.

They didn’t have a solid plan, but it was enough to keep Dick from thinking too much about what was happening at the house.

He knew he wanted to get drunk. Why he’d taken his motorcycle into the city, he had no idea.

By the time it was getting dark, they had several people with them, some of whom Dick and Barbara knew, others they didn’t. They were bar hopping, until they went into a club that was new, and with a persuasive smile, Barbara insisted that Dick would like the place. At that point, he’d already become drunk enough to agree to pretty much anything.

They danced, and then hit the bar, and then danced again, and hit the bar, and Dick was so drunk that he was forgetting the significance of being in Gotham, he forgot that he had been sleeping with Kori only a week ago, and he forgot all about Jason having a girlfriend until Barbara said into his ear, over the loud thumping of the music, “So, you like Jay’s girlfriend?”

Dick made a face, without realizing it, earning an amused look from Barbara before she said, “I’ll take that as a no.”

“No, no, she’s nice…I don’t know –“

“She’s hot,” Barbara laughed, “I mean, Jason did pretty good, don’t you think?”

Eve was attractive, yeah, but Jason was too…special to be with her.

The more Barbara talked about Eve, about meeting her, and how nice she was, and how happy Jason seemed, the more Dick felt like he was going to puke.

“Yeah, you know, I don’t really know her, and besides I can already tell they probably won’t last.” Dick said before he shoved a handful of whatever bar mix they had on the counter into his mouth, and took a large drink from the glass of water Barbara had ordered. He was determined not to throw up, now that Eve was apparently the topic of discussion.

“Wow,” Barbara laughed, and her dark red curls shook out as she asked, “Why do you think that?”

“Come on, you know Jason came off the streets, and Eve is a spoiled brat.”

“You were a spoiled brat, Dick,” Barbara laughed and watched Dick’s face contort, “That’s not the point.” He stated.

Barbara shrugged her bare shoulders, and pursed her lips, “I don’t know, I think they’re an adorable couple.”

Dick looked at her, biting on a tiny thin straw now that was in his drink, his eyes narrowing. When Barbara laughed, he wished he could tell her exactly what he was thinking, what he was worrying about.

Suddenly, everything came crashing down on Dick, but tenfold because he couldn’t drink tequila without it bringing up all of his problems. He pushed his hands into his hair, and felt Barbara rubbing his back, “You feeling okay?”

“I shouldn’t be drinking tequila,” was all Dick slurred, now eating way too many peanuts and downing the rest of Barbara’s water, “it just…makes me sick.”

“The tequila?” Barbara asked, almost as if she knew that wasn’t what Dick was talking about.

She’d known Dick since they were both 16, and she knew how he was. Before Dick could shrug her away, her arm was around his back and she was hugging him in by the waist as she said into his ear, “Why don’t we go get some food in you, babe?”

By this time, the group of people that had been walking from bar to bar with them had dispersed, and gone their own ways. The moment they left the club, Dick gripped his shirt and covered his mouth, mumbling, “Fuck,”

“You gunna be sick?” Barbara asked with concern, quickly walking Dick around the corner into an alley.

The feeling of Barbara’s hand constantly rubbing his back while he puked up everything he’d been drinking in the past two or three hours made him realize that he hadn’t been able to drink in a while. It must’ve been why he got so sick so quickly and why he put most of his weight on Barbara as she shifted him to press his back against the wall behind him.

When he looked into Barbara’s eyes, it was as if realizing he was with _Barbara_  made his body think it was okay to produce tears. Dick hated suppressing things, and he hadn’t had someone in his life that made him a complete mess like Jason had. He didn’t want to blame Jason, he was a teenager for God’s sake, and it made Dick feel like such a fucking asshole for ever laying his hands on Jason, or kissing him that night at the bookstore.

“Dick,” Barbara cooed, wrapping her arms around him, “what is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just fucking…hate tequila,” Dick said in a whimper.

But Barbara knew that wasn’t it. She wiped his chin with the collar of his shirt, and said, “Tell me what’s wrong…”

He wished he could, he really did, but he knew what Barbara would think. He knew she would tell him to get his shit together and stop falling for people too young for him…not that he had ever really done it before.

Finally Dick told her half of what it was that he was upset about, something that he was really suppressing, “It…it feels weird-“ he took in a sharp inhale with a sniffle, “it feels weird being back here…I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, I can’t believe I miss it here…”

Barbara was quiet, clearly unsure of what to say, or at least knowing that an alleyway where Dick had just thrown up wasn’t the best place to have this conversation. So she hooked his arm around her shoulders, and brought him to a burger joint nearby. They were both drunk, but Barbara was sobering up first.

They sat at the counter near the window, and ate burgers and fries, and finally Barbara said, “Maybe you should move back.”

She said this after Dick had told her that Blüdhaven felt lonely a lot of times, that he was flying all the way to Jump City just to be around some friends again.

“To where?” asked Dick with a mouthful of fries before he chased them down with his soda. He was starting to feel better, and the constant feeling of his head spinning was going away little by little.

“Wherever,” Barbara shrugged, taking another bite of her burger before saying, “wherever you feel most at home. Maybe go back to living around people for a while, and if you want to, go back to Blüdhaven when you start getting sick of people again.”

“Yeah but…” Dick got quiet, “I think Blüdhaven…needs me, you know? There’s not really anyone else there like me. I mean, even the police aren’t that great.”

Barbara made a face of uncertainty, and then said, “There are plenty of cities without people like us protecting them.”

Dick held his half eaten burger in his hands, and gave Barbara a glare, “That doesn’t really make me feel better.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to make a point. You’re not Bruce. You don’t have to –“ she got really quiet, leaning over to him and whispering, “sacrifice your life to a city. You’re different. You have different needs than Bruce does.”

Dick thought about this as they both finished up eating. When he noticed the time, he panicked, saying, “Oh shit…Bruce is probably wondering where I am.”

“Yeah, well, he’s got Jason –“

“No,” Dick said, now even more panicked, “Jason had to get stitches in his arm. Shit,”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Barbara said quickly before Dick could bolt out the door. She had grabbed his shirt, and reminded him, “You’re not going out tonight like this…maybe you should have thought about that before you started drinking.”

_God, I’m such an idiot_ Dick thought to himself, his heart pounding when he realized that yeah, he was still too drunk to be considered sober, and there was no way in hell he could really get on his motorcycle, of all things, and go back to the manor.

What was he going to tell Bruce, though? Should he call him?

“Sit your butt down,” Barbara said easily, “I’ll give Bruce a call on that payphone and tell him we got a little carried away and that I’m not letting you go home.”

There wasn’t much Dick could say to argue. He let Barbara disappear behind him. He looked up, paranoid, at the tall building in front of him, wondering if Batman would be standing up there, staring down at him in disapproval and disgust. He should have at least left a note, Dick thought, but he was so livid and he didn’t want to hear Jason doing… _whatever_ he was going to do.

Finally, after what felt like a while, Barbara appeared beside him, throwing their trash away, and sighing as she sat down, “Bruce said it’s okay…he’ll just go on patrol alone, he said he could handle it. He was wondering why you just left without telling anyone, though.”

And even Barbara seemed curious as to why he had done that as well. But she didn’t press the subject, because that wasn’t how she communicated.

“So, uhm…you’re okay if I stay with you tonight?”

Barbara winced and said, “Of course, I don’t think either one of us can drive safely right now.”

When they got back to Barbara’s place, Dick was half tempted to call Bruce and explain. But, according to Barbara, he didn’t sound too pissed, he sounded more worried than anything.

Dick was going to sleep on the couch. That was, until Barbara told him that he could sleep in her bed…with her.

Disgusted with the fact that he had thrown up in an alleyway, and was drinking all night, then ate a burger, he took a shower. Rinsed his mouth out, and then stepped into the steamy hot water. He pressed his head to the wall, looking at the bottles of shampoo that Barbara had, and the three different bottles that were body wash and bubble bath, right next to two different loofahs.

She hoarded hair products since Dick could remember. She insisted that was what kept her hair looking just the way Dick liked it, not that it was hard, he imagined.

When he stepped out of the bathroom in only a towel, he remembered he wasn’t at his place, and it had been quite a while since he’d stayed with Barbara, so he thought, he shouldn’t have been doing that.

And then Barbara looked up from her notebook that she was writing in, and grinned at him from the bed.

“That’s my favorite towel, mister, don’t wipe your ass with it,” she said sarcastically, making Dick laugh.

“Sorry,” Dick said awkwardly now, and was ready to go back into the bathroom to change.

“Ah, don’t bother, I’ve seen your dick plenty of times.” The way Barbara spoke to him as if things hadn’t really changed made him feel more comfortable, but sometimes he couldn’t believe her dry sense of humor.

He snorted a laugh as she smirked over to him. The longer he was around her, the more he remembered why he liked her so much.

He dropped the towel and pulled his boxers on immediately. Hesitantly he got onto the queen sized bed next to her, and looked at the time, and then out the window. It was almost midnight. He thought about calling a cab and going back home, and picking up his bike the next day. But he didn’t.

Instead, he stayed with Barbara, and only got a couple hours of sleep, due to the fact that most of the night he and Barbara were making out, falling in and out of sleep, until they finally had sex. It was relieving, and felt right.

“You know,” Barbara said as Dick stayed on top of her for a while, resting his head on her chest and listening to her heart beat while she played with his hair that now smelt like her shampoo, “I wouldn’t be terribly upset if you moved back to Gotham.”

He kissed the inside of her arm and smirked while he said, “Hm…we’ll see, then.”

Before he left in the morning, Barbara kissed him, smoothed her hands over his chest and said, “Take care of yourself, handsome. You can come and tell me goodbye before you leave Gotham.”

He left at 8 AM, a time that he would usually still be sleeping, but he was awake enough to drive home on the open, mostly empty roads. He didn’t really regret his time spent with Barbara. He felt he needed to at least do that to relieve some of the tension at the house.

When he walked in, Alfred, Bruce, and Jason were all still asleep. It was very quiet, and before he went into his room to catch some more sleep, he peaked into Jason’s room, where the younger man slept with his injured arm facing the ceiling, and the blankets pulled half down his body. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, Dick already knew it was because it was still hot at night.

From his place by the door, he could see Jason’s face, relaxed, and the way his body was spread out over the bed. At least, Dick thought, Jason was starting to look more and more like a young man. He was going to be eighteen in August, Dick remembered, and that gave him an odd feeling of contentment.

He shut the door, finally, and went into his room. Just as he was falling asleep, though, his door opened.

Groggily he opened his eyes to see Jason standing there, in nothing but pajama pants and bruises all up and down his torso.

“You came in my room…” was all Jason said when he saw Dick look at him.

“I was just checking on you.” Dick said dismissively, waiting for Jason to leave after he shut his eyes again. He did hear the door shut, but jolted in his place when he felt Jason’s hands and knees moving up the bed, before a gravelly, groggy voice asked, “Where were you last night?”

Dick could barely see him in the darkness when he tried to observe the look on Jason’s face. He could only tell that Jason was close to him, looking down at him.

“I was with Barbara.” Dick answered.

Now he was fully awake, when Jason asked, “Why?”

“I just needed to get out of the house, Jay.” He said as if defending himself.

There was a long moment of silence, Dick almost shut his eyes again, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t, not until Jason left. He was happily surprised that Jason had even come into his room.

All of a sudden, Jason lied down on the bed next to him, after he sunk down.

“Do you not like it when I have her over?” Jason asked, pausing before he said _her_ as if, at first, he was going to say Eve’s name, but didn’t want to.

“It’s fine,” was all Dick said. He didn’t say no, he didn’t say he loved it when Eve was over, he loved hearing them having fun and talking and seeing Jason as happy as he was. Because he couldn’t lie, not like that.

“Dick,” Jason murmured in the darkness, “does it bother you?”

He forced his eyes shut, and tried to make himself turn away from Jason, but he couldn’t.

“Why would it bother me?” Dick grumbled.

When Dick opened his eyes again, he drew his head back as much as he could, though that wasn’t much. Jason was hovering over him, staring at him. For once, Dick didn’t want any confrontation, he didn’t want to talk. He closed his arms tightly around Jason, and pulled him to the side of his body. It felt good to have Jason rest his head on his chest, the way Barbara had not too long ago, but it didn’t feel good when Jason said, “Because I’m having sex with her.”

That knot built in Dick’s stomach again, before he spoke sharply, “I guess you do what you have to do to get by.”

“Yeah, and so do you.” Said Jason, shutting his eyes, but so ready to punch Dick in the face hard enough to break his nose if he spoke again.

“You’re jealous,” Dick whispered, not too surprised when Jason responded, “So are you.”

“Well at least we’re even.” Dick breathed out.

He thought there would be silence, and that they could just accept that they were both tired, and wanted to sleep by one another, but Jason breathed out, “I thought I loved Eve…”

_Don’t blame this on me_ was what Dick wanted to say, but he already knew what Jason thought. He already knew that, maybe, he shouldn’t have come back to Gotham.

“You probably do, Jason,” Dick tried to reason with him but realized how ridiculous he was for saying that with Jason tucked into the side of his body, warm, and pressing his face into Dick’s skin.

“No,” Jason murmured, “I love the thought of her…of having a girlfriend. Being _normal_.”  He sounded so tired as he spoke.

“I keep trying to push it down…I keep trying to do anything I can to keep myself from thinking about you. Eve is my outlet for that. That’s not fair to her; I don’t think…she is a good person. And I’m not.” Jason spoke with half of his mouth against Dick’s chest, feeling the movement of his breathing.

“Neither am I,” Dick spoke very quietly, almost in a whisper, almost as if he thought Bruce was standing right outside his door, listening to them, “I want to be a good person, and I want to do what’s right, but –“ Dick’s eyes were closing on and off now, “I can’t.”

Jason thought he knew what Dick meant, but he wanted to ask for reassurance. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, though. All he did was rest his head on Dick until he heard him say, “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Jason looked out into the side of the room, gripping the edge of the blanket that was just underneath Dick’s navel. He noted that Dick smelt different, like alcohol and something sweeter than that.

“I wish I hated you for coming back –“

“Yeah,” Dick said immediately, “I wish I hated myself for it, too.”

Dick moved to turn on his side, facing Jason, and as if trying to tempt him, Dick stared into Jason’s face after he’d moved him off of his chest. Dick could only see Jason at an upper angle, and watched his eyes dart over Dick’s chest.

“Dick,” Jason whispered, “what did you mean when you said you don’t want to fight anymore?”

He wished he had just left it unsaid, but half to his relief, and his frustration, Dick didn’t respond. A minute passed, Jason was sure of it, before he finally looked up at Dick, thinking he’d fallen asleep. But no, there he was, his eyes open and looking down at Jason.

“Did you hear me?” Jason asked, to which Dick nodded. Still, he didn’t say anything. And judging by the look on his face, he wasn’t going to.

When Jason moved his head to look down again, beginning to feel as if he should leave, he felt a few firm fingers grip underneath his jaw, and then tip his head up forcefully. Dick pushed his lips against Jason’s, firmly, and although he was confused by what this meant, or why Dick was running his hands over Jason’s waist and back, any rational thought was quickly funneling out of Jason’s mind, and being replaced by that familiar feeling he had during winter. It was a feeling that, as much as he wanted to, he didn’t feel with Eve.

Maybe because Dick’s hand was big, and warm, and his arms were strong when he lifted Jason up closer to himself on the bed. Jason made a small noise that he’d been trying to keep down, when the place in him that had feelings for Dick, realized what was happening, and realized that maybe Dick felt the same way about him.

“Dick,” Jason breathed, feeling his face flush red and his whole body growing hotter and hotter the longer Dick was over him, kissing him with a sort of confidence that only came from having experience, “Dick, please…”

“What?” Dick breathed into his lips, now holding Jason’s face, making him melt beneath him. He wouldn’t have said a thing, except that Jason sounded a little unsure.

After his mouth was pulled away, Dick looked down at Jason’s swollen lips, and his eyes sliding shut, as he breathed, “Don’t do this if you…if you’re not going to do it again. I _want_ this, but you do this every other night with a different person.”

“Jason,” he huffed, “it’s not like that, the only reason we haven’t done this is yet is because…I can’t stand the thought of hurting you, and I would never want to. If we do this…it’s just you and me. No one else. Yeah?”

“But…” Jason hated himself the way he hated himself for thinking about Dick when he was with Eve, and as he said  her name, his eyes shifted away nervously, “What about Eve?”

Jason continued to look up at Dick, mostly, with that intense stare, and noticing the way Dick’s hair fell, framing his face as he hung over him.

“I…I don’t know. I was-was talking about myself, not being with anyone else. I can’t ask you to do that…it doesn’t feel right, you’re different and I-I just want you to be happy.”

“God, dammit,” he shut his eyes tightly, and said in a raw voice, “you know the only reason I’m with Eve is because I was trying to keep myself from fucking thinking about you. You _know_ that.” Jason tried to keep his eyes shut when they started to feel a little too hot, and the pressure started to build with the tears.

When he opened his eyes again, he tried to look as far down as possible, to avoid Dick seeing the welling tears in his eyes. Jason felt sick to his stomach, he didn’t want to hurt Eve, but his words said otherwise, “I fucking hate myself for doing that to her…but I just wanted to be with you, and I knew that I couldn’t-“

“We don’t have to-“

“ _Fuck_ that.” Jason ground out, “I’ve been _praying_ that you would do this, I’m not fucking it up just because I have…” a girlfriend. But what did that mean? Nothing. Not right now, when he could still feel the warmth from Dick’s body being so close to him, and his heart was pounding with no plans of calming down.

Just as Dick opened his mouth again, Jason demanded, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t want to _talk_ anymore. If you’re going to fuck me…just do it.”

Dick came first, Jason thought, he was with Dick before he was with Eve, and after Jason pushed himself up to wrap his arms around Dick’s neck, he kissed him with force, and desperation, and felt relief when Dick caved in, leaned down and closed his arms around Jason like a cage of heat and strength.

Soon enough, Dick had his arms around Jason’s neck, listening to him breathe into his ear while he smothered his quiet, hesitant groans into the pillow while Jason’s hipbones jutted up, and he grinded his erection into Dick’s thigh.

“Jay,” Dick breathed into his neck now feeling his pajama pants being tugged by the waistband in Jason’s harsh grip, while Jason’s other hand grasped the sheet beneath his arched body. When Dick finally gives in, again, his body aches for more, immediately. He grinded down into the back of Jason’s thigh, near his pelvis, hearing a noise of approval just beside his ear.

Dick moved his body forward, constantly pressing his erection between Jason’s thigh and his own body. Letting his guard down, Dick tugged at Jason’s hair, arched over him, and watched Jason watch him, the groans Jason let out grew a little higher in pitch before he opened his legs and let Dick in between his thighs, feeling Dick thrust hard against his ass.

The next time they kissed, Jason was overcome by the weight of Dick over him, the force Dick used in his hips made the headboard scrape gently against the wall. He gasped for air, and let out a breathy moan into Dick’s ear, and then a quiet, “Yes,” and it got to Dick’s head  when he immediately let himself feel Jason after he’d shoved his hands down past the waistband and into his boxers.

Jason no longer felt guilt, and Dick had a hard time even trying to feel guilty while listened closely to Jason’s quiet praise, “Huh-ugh, Dick, fuck, _yes_ ,” he breathed, his body closed around Dick. His fingers dug into the broad expanse of Dick’s back as he pressed his forehead to Dick’s shoulder, letting him feel the way the older man touched him, as if he’s were trying to familiarize himself with Jason, not quite trying to get him off.

There was a moment after Jason breathed out a quiet whimper when the hand that was feeling him pulled out of his pants altogether. Dick leaned down, and pressed his ribs into Jason’s inner thigh as he rested on his side, over Jason, and undid the little button in Jason’s pants. He had to dig a little to grip Jason’s leaking cock, and pull it out, and Dick realized it was the first time he’d _seen_ Jason’s dick like that, and allowed himself to touch it.

Jason tried to relax, tried not to watch Dick observe him further, but the moment Dick breathed, “I think…you’re bigger than me?” he sounded like he was a little insulted, and Jason’s breath was unable to come out, just like he wasn’t to look down.

“I guess we’ll have to find out,” was the only thing Jason could think to say, and it just _barely_ came out.

He only regretted not watching Dick when he let out a loud, “Ah!” as Dick’s mouth was suddenly surrounding him, taking him in all the way, and it’s not the first time Jason’s had his cock sucked but it’s definitely way better with Dick.

Jason hissed loudly, shutting his eyes, and his whole face grew even redder as he winced before looking down at Dick.

It takes a moment, with Jason’s hands hovering over his head before he gripped Dick’s hair and pushed up into his mouth gently, testing the waters. The gentle approving hum that Dick let out around him gave Jason the feeling that it was okay to push up again, and then again, the third time Dick meeting his thrust with the back of his throat and only gagging a little, forcing a strangled moan out of Jason.

Suddenly his thighs were being closed around Dick’s body with a gentle shove on his outer thigh. Dick did things differently, he sucked Jason’s dick knowing just how to do it so that Jason could feel everything and not let himself fuck up into Dick’s mouth in an early attempt to get off. Jason already knew the older man had experience, and so Jason just lied there and bit down some of his moans while he stroked the strong arm that held  him in place by his waist.

The slick, wet noises that Dick’s mouth made only really had Jason going a little crazy if he wasn’t watching him, if his head rested on the pillow and he had his eyes closed. Jason let himself listen and feel a couple of times before he mumbled, “Fuck, you’re good at that.”

When Dick released  the younger man’s cock from his mouth, he looked up at Jason and said, “Well, if I thought you could handle it,”

Jason looked unamused, and annoyed at most before he watched Dick say, “Okay, just a little bit longer and…”

“And you can guide me through it while I suck your cock.” Jason said with a smirk.

Dick’s lips parted  as he looked up in shock.

“Sorry, go ahead,” Jason said, biting at the smirk on his lips.

When Dick went down again, he went down _completely_ and let his throat gag quietly around the head of Jason’s cock, feeling the way Jason’s body convulsed at the sensation before he pulled his head back, creating enough suction that when he withdrew his mouth slowly Jason let out one, drawn out groan.

Dick did it again, and then a couple more times, at a quicker pace while he stroked Jason occasionally licking the slit of his cock, and by the time Jason was whimpering and cussing a little too loud, Dick stopped.

“Shit,” Jason breathed, looking more than a little disappointed as Dick crawled up his body. His lips felt warm against Jason’s, and tingled when the younger man bit greedily at his bottom lip, as he said, “My turn.”

And Dick couldn’t even got comfortable before Jason yanked down his pants, licking at him eagerly even as Dick tried to push him away.

“Slow down,” Dick demanded with a grunt, pushing Jason away firmly by the forehead and earning a petulant grimace before he tucked himself between Dick’s legs, a little more spread out than he had been previously.

“Mm,” Jason breathed, “I don’t know, Dick, I think we might be even,” and as Jason stood on his knees, crawled over and straddled his thighs while he closed his fingers around Dick and his own cock, comparing before grinding up once, and letting go before grasping the head of his cock in his hand while he leaned over Dick and breathed, “But your cock looks thicker.”

Dick breathed out impatiently, staring up at the ceiling as Jason spread his legs wider than even Dick thought he could and grinded his erection into Dick’s. Feeling Dick’s skin beneath the underside of his cock made him lean over, and grind similarly to how Dick had been grinding into him before, but now slower.

“So good,” Jason is breathed against his temple as Dick kicked his pants off and watched Jason’s hips move while he pressed a hand into the center of Dick’s abdomen.

“Can I fuck you?” Jason asked in a whisper, and he was seriously asking for permission when the thought popped into his head.

Dick thought about it for a moment, and wasn’t sure what to say, because he wanted Jason to feel what it was like, but all he could think of was how neglected his cock felt in that moment, and he’d been holding out under the impression that shortly he would be buried in Jason after easing into him, and helping him through the initial pain.

“Suck my cock first, okay?” Dick breathed as Jason stared down at him.

Jason scooted down on the bed quickly, desperate to please Dick as he ran his hands over the older man’s thighs before Dick’s fingers closed around the base, and he said, “Just take it slow, okay?”

Jason was practically drooling at the sight, before he opened his mouth and closed his lips once half of Dick’s cock was in his mouth. Jason’s mouth felt so full, his lips had stretched, and then he felt himself drooling around the heated, pulsating shaft when he tasted what he thought was precome. He felt the underside of Dick’s cock with his tongue, and then licked the head, doing it just slow enough, just so that he can get comfortable with a dick in his mouth before he looked up. Dick was watching him with parted lips.

“Yeah,” Dick said quietly, knowing that that look from Jason was a way of seeking approval, so he said, “that’s good.”

The process was slow, but the sight of Jason with his arms around Dick’s thighs that could easily hurt the younger man if he closed his legs too hard, made Dick let out a quiet grunt before he carefully and slowly guided Jason’s head down his cock, wanting to feel deeper.

And the way Jason lost his composure, it was the complete opposite way that Dick had just been sucking him off. The sound of Jason gagging around him, releasing his cock occasionally to gasp for breath, and then going down again, made Dick’s whole body tense, and even though it was Jason’s first time, and Dick could feel his eagerness, the older man was trying so hard to keep his voice down. Jason looked so good with his head between Dick’s thighs and his eyes watering and his lips all bright red and thicker than usual.

One particular time, he goes too far down on Dick, and the older man pulled Jason’s head up brutally by the hair and hissed, “Fu-fuck, oh-shit don’t do that.”

Dick was breathing  heavy and Jason watched his chest and his mouth before he tried to get out of Dick’s hold.

“That’s enough,” Dick told him sharply.

“Can’t handle it?” Jason laughed, and had a sinister, playful look on his face that made Dick want to let him go back to doing what he was doing.

“I wanna fuck more than just your mouth.” Dick explained to Jason,  and waited for him to come crawling up the bed, looking for the lube that Dick wasn’t even sure he still had in his room. But instead, Jason stayed between his thighs, and felt his cock, a couple times with his fingertips, and then kept his hand completely around Dick’s shaft as he stared up at him.

“You have such a nice cock,” Jason told him, and he could feel and see a drop of precome pushing out as Jason’s hand moved up. Finally, _finally_ Jason moved up after tugging off his pants and throwing them onto the floor. Suddenly Jason said, “I can’t wait for it to be inside of me.”

“Jason,” Dick breathed out in defeat, watching the slender body over his, as the younger man sat on his stomach and began stroking himself, his cock leaking heavily over Dick’s abdomen.

“Can’t decide if I wanna fuck you or let you fuck me first.” Jason mumbled with a playful smirk.

Before Jason had finished his sentence, Dick had decided, “You first, because when it’s _my_ turn it’s gunna take a while.”

Dick had reached over to the nightstand, pulled out a bottle of lube, and observed the look in Jason’s eyes. He had his mouth open, as if he wanted to argue, but he didn’t have the patience to do so. Instead, he stayed over Dick’s body, propped up on his knees, and feeling the slightest bit of sweat that had the older man’s abdomen gleaming in the dimly lit room. Jason watched him pop the bottle open, and squeeze a generous amount of lube over his palm, before he reached down and gripped Jason’s cock, earning a quiet grunt from the younger man.

The way Dick’s hands felt around him quickly became too much for him to bear, but regardless, Jason was hunched over Dick, thrusting unevenly into his palm, and reaching down to close the older man’s fingers around the head of his cock, tighter than he had been.

Just as Jason started rutting against him, seeming to get a little too into it, Dick took his hand away, even as Jason reached forward for it and gripped tightly at his hand in an attempt to pull it back towards his throbbing erection.

“Come on,” Jason breathed eagerly, “just a little more…”

“I thought you wanted to fuck me,” Dick reminded him quietly, feeling the small involuntary thrusts of Jason’s hips.

Jason was gripping either side of Dick’s waist, trying to ease the desperation in his body just long enough to move his body between the older man’s legs again. But Dick was still bigger than Jason, and he managed to manhandle Jason off of him before lying on his stomach, and twisting his legs around the back of the younger man’s thighs to encourage him to move inward.

However, Jason’s inability to do anything but stare at Dick’s body, the impeccably carved muscles in his back, and the way his ass moved when he arched up, had been due to the fact that he’d never seen Dick like this before, and he certainly hadn’t thought he ever would.

He wanted to tell Dick what a nice body he had, how nice he looked like this, but Jason’s mouth hung open, only closing occasionally to catch the excessive saliva that might have dripped from the edges of his mouth.

“Jay?” Dick murmured, glancing back at him.

Finally Jason had the courage, when his head wasn’t spinning, to put a hand on the back of Dick’s hip, and grip the base of his own cock. He lined himself up, and felt himself grow dizzy yet again, this time, though, forcing him to lean over the older man as he started to push in. The heat engulfing Jason’s cock made his body tense, and then ease, “H-uhh,” Jason groaned low into Dick’s shoulder.

When he felt he was as deep inside of Dick as he could possibly be, Jason reached up with both hands and braced them on Dick’s shoulders, trying to push himself up with his knees. After he unevenly pushed himself back up, he began thrusting up into Dick, in short bursts because it was all he could manage before he was sucking air in and moaning a little too loud.

Dick stayed quiet, muffling any noises he’d wanted to make with a pillow and letting Jason get the hang of things.

“So tight,” Jason moaned, forcing Dick to reach down beneath his body and pull at his cock just enough to keep him from rubbing against the sheets for some sort of friction.

It didn’t take long, after a couple more moans, and readjusting himself, Jason had his hands on the small of Dick’s back, pushing into his skin hard and picking up his pace. The sound of skin on skin contact could have easily been heard down the hall, and Dick had meant to tell Jason to be quiet, but just as he turned his head and twisted his body, Dick let out a groan instead, looking down at what he could see of Jason’s hips meeting the back of his ass. The younger man’s skin was a pale pink, and his face was flushed, with strands of black hair sticking to his forehead. When they made eye contact, Jason gave Dick a devilish smirk before leaning over him, and moving his left leg over Dick’s thigh, feeling the change of the angle send a wave of pleasure up into his gut.

Jason was over him, and Dick’s body was arched in what would be an uncomfortable position if Dick weren’t so flexible and used to it. The pounding paired with Jason pulling on his hair roughly made Dick let out a loud groan that he quickly muffled with the pillow again, biting into the stuffing through the fabric and wincing when Jason breathed into his cheek a quiet word of praise.

Dick hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until he felt pressure under his skin, and heard the loud rhythmic creaking of the bed. Now Jason was behind him again, gripping the tender skin of his ass so hard beneath his fingertips, Dick was sure he would have small red welts or bruises.

Even before Jason found that spot inside of him, it had felt too good, Dick felt he wouldn’t last much longer, and only hoped Jason felt the same way. But the moment Jason’s cock grazed that spot inside of the older man, his hands pushed into Jason’s hips.

“Jay,” he breathed, “please,” he was so ready to tell Jason to just come inside of him, to get it over with, but once again Jason was pounding relentlessly, and now occasionally slamming into Dick’s prostate, leaving him speechless.

“This feels so good,” Jason breathed into his back, “so fucking good…turn over for me.”

Jason withdrew his cock with no intention of taking his time. Before Dick could even get comfortable on his back again, the younger man was pushing in, and crawling over his torso.

Dick was biting his lip when Jason’s body collapsed over his, breathing into his ear, “You’re so tight.”

A soft, searing burn was being traced into Jason’s back as the older man had wrapped his arms around him and began to drag his nails down his back. He groaned through gritted teeth when Dick gripped his ass so hard the pain was almost unbearable. Dick’s choppy breaths and groans were up against Jason’s earlobe, making him push harder, letting himself feel the way Dick tightened up. Now it was really too much, and Jason couldn’t take much more.

When he looked down at what he was doing, he began to salivate at the sight of Dick’s cock leaking heavily over his stomach, and jutting up every other thrust. Paired with seeing his hips drawing back and slamming back into Dick, he let out a breathy whine before he shivered at the sound of Dick breathing into his ear, “Touch me, Jay.”

The noise Dick let out when Jason wrapped his fingers fully around his cock pushed Jason over the edge, trying to jerk Dick’s cock at the same rate he chased his release with his hips.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Jason breathed, finally pushing so deep he felt his come shooting out of his pulsating cock, his whole body  clenching at the feeling as he let out a strained groan.

Before he could pull out, Dick was pulling his limp body up by the arms and shoving him into the bed.

“Oh my God,” Jason said groggily, his eyes fluttering shut.

Dick looked down at Jason, how relaxed his body was, and only hoped that he would stay that way for as long as possible. He was pretty sure Jason was falling asleep while Dick was lubing up, pumping his cock slowly as he watched Jason’s chest move up and down with every breath.

“Jason,” Dick whispered as he placed a hand on Jason’s hip bone, a pair of light blue eyes peered up at him, “just stay relaxed, okay? It’s probably gunna hurt.”

Dick nudged the younger man’s legs open wider, and very carefully pressed one lubed fingertip to his entrance, watching Jason breathe in, and then exhale just as he pushed in. Jason was extremely tight, which was what Dick had expected, and the moment he pushed another finger in, Jason draped his forearm over his eyes and continued to try to breathe through it. Continuing with his motions, Dick finally started to press down, and open his fingers just enough until Jason bit his bottom lip with a muffled hiss.

Without warning, Dick pushed his fingers deeper, his middle one pressing and probing, until Jason’s body tightened with a surprised moan when Dick had found that same spot inside of him.

Dick looked up at him knowingly, pushed into that spot again, and again when Jason threw his head back into the pillows and brought his left knee up with his hand hooked underneath his thigh.

Finally, Dick moved up the bed, and lined himself up, letting Jason pull him down and grip his hand tightly. Now Jason was tight as a wire, his whole body unable to follow Dick’s instructions to just breathe and relax.

It felt impossible to push into Jason at first, and Dick wondered if they should take more time, but just as he started to think that, Jason’s body relaxed enough into the mattress as he breathed out, that Dick was able to push slightly inward.

“Ow,” Jason said deeply through gritted teeth, very obviously trying to keep his body at ease. Dick pushed in further, and Jason felt painfully tight, even around his cock. The younger man winced, and let out a strained, “Ahh,” the deeper Dick went.

When Dick pulled back, the pain only intensified, and Jason hissed loudly, his body going tight again when Dick eased back into him, “Ow, ow-fuck,”

“It’s okay,” Dick breathed, the tightness now almost fully enveloping him as he stroked Jason’s hair away from his face.

Suddenly that same hand started to smooth over Jason’s abdomen as it tightened. Dick felt Jason’s hand grip tightly around the fingers of his opposite hand and let out a long, pained moan as Dick pushed into him entirely. He held onto Jason’s waist, and then his hip, and then his head when Jason let out a loud, “Fuck!”

“I know,” Dick breathed, bringing Jason’s face into his, “I know, shhh,”

Jason let out another high, pained moan into Dick’s shoulder when Dick finally drew back and thrust into him again. The stretched feeling made Jason so uncomfortable, but he knew that the only way to get used to it, and to _possibly_ gain pleasure from it, was to let Dick fuck him at his own pace.

“Ow,” Jason whimpered every now and then, watching Dick fuck him from an odd angle.

There was a long time that Jason was silent, and Dick was trying to move deep enough, which really didn’t take much time once Jason had adjusted around him. Jason let out another moan, finally, this one a mix of pleasure and pain once Dick had reached his prostate. He had hoped it would loosen Jason up a little, at least let him get some pleasure out of this. Thankfully, it did, as Dick watched the younger man lay back now and shut his eyes, his mouth hanging open.

Jason could feel himself getting hard again, as his body struggled to decipher whether it was pain or pleasure that he felt.

When he arched over Jason again, the younger man gripped his hair and brought him into his neck, before pushing his body up with one hand. Dick let Jason push him to the bed once he’d sat back, feeling Jason ease down onto his cock. Now Jason was on top, holding the older man’s hands, and easing himself up and down.

The look on Dick’s face was extremely satisfying to Jason as he quickened his pace, breathing, “I like being on top.”

Each time he moved down, Dick’s cock hit that place inside of him that made it worth it, and now, Jason was finally moving with ease, and looking down at Dick watching Jason’s cock fill out again. Once again, underneath Jason’s pace, the bed started to creak every now and then.

Jason smirked as he listened to Dick grow noisier, huffing out breaths of air, and groaning and grunting.

His eyes rolled back as Jason leaned down into his face, gripping his chin, kissing him sloppily before he whispered, “Fill me up,”

Now Dick was pressing his feet down, and his hips were pounding up into Jason mercilessly, watching Jason grip his shoulders and cry out as Dick fucked into him.

Jason only had enough strength to keep himself upright, because now the stimulation made him weak, it felt too good and he felt he already wanted to come again, all over Dick’s stomach.

Just as he reached down to grip himself, Jason was pushed down into the mattress, into the same position he was fucking Dick in, only now Dick was holding his hips, bringing him back, and fucking the life out of him. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before, so completely full and weak, letting his body ease as Dick took over his movements.

“Fuck yeah,” Jason breathed, his breath hitching with each pound, “yeah, fuck me,” Jason’s cheek was brushing against the mattress, into where he’d been drooling without realizing it, “don’t stop, d-don’t-ugh”

The comforter was balled up beneath Jason as he hugged it, and moaned into it as Dick began losing control of his pace.

His whole body caved over Jason’s, gripping Jason’s hair in both hands as he rolled his hips in, pushing deep into Jason slowly.

Jason looked at the sun shining in through the crack beneath the door as he heard Dick finish with a drawn out, deep groan.

They laid there, just the same way for some time. Jason kissing the older man’s fingertips when he wasn’t stroking Jason’s hair back, kissing over his shoulders and sighing in contentment.

“Thank you,” Jason breathed finally, feeling Dick smirk against his neck.

“Back at you,” Dick told him.

When Jason turned over to hug Dick tightly, the older man closed his arms around Jason and kissed the area above his right eyebrow firmly.

“Still hard?” Dick asked quietly.

“It’ll go away,” Jason mumbled, though he didn’t sound too sure.

Dick drew his head back, looked into Jason’s eyes and asked, “You wanna fuck me again?”

“No, that’s not what I-“

“I’m offering,” Dick laughed, “relax.”

Jason felt embarrassed, suddenly, and felt his face growing red, that was until Dick said, “Hey, at least I know you can go all night. That’s a good thing.”

“I’ll be quick-“

“Don’t worry about it,” Dick told him.

Dick had rolled onto his side, and let Jason ease into him again. This time Jason watched what he was doing intently, squeezed at Dick’s ass shamelessly and bit down a smirk when he felt Dick move his hips down into him. He was relieved it didn’t take him long, and that what got him there was Dick kissing him between smiling at him and playfully biting his lips until they were swollen.

After that, Dick let Jason sleep, draped over his chest and his legs intertwined with his own. He covered the both of them with his comforter, and kept an eye on the time, knowing that they had to get up at their usual time regardless of the fact that neither of them had slept. It was hard not to fall asleep with Jason curled up against him, breathing heavily and weighing down on the left side of his body.

Instead, Dick thought about what he was going to do now. He knew this would change things between the two of them. And he wondered what Jason would do about Eve. He already trashed the idea of talking to Jason about it, though he knew that would be healthy, he also knew that what he and Jason had done, and were going to do, wasn’t exactly _healthy_. Dick still felt conflicted, he still wanted Jason to live a normal teenager life, but that selfish streak that he tried to keep buried was still there. He felt like a jackass for falling so hard for Jason, and he knew that there was only so much he could do to influence the situation. He never wanted to manipulate Jason into only being with him. It felt even worse than what he’d already done.

That evening, after Jason had woken up, and they had taken turns showering, he could tell that while Jason was overall more relaxed and less hostile towards Dick and Bruce, something was bothering him.

When Dick found them alone together in the kitchen, when he and Jason were eating, Dick asked, “Is everything okay?”

Jason looked over at him, and then murmured, “Yeah, just…trying to figure out what I’m gunna do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ironically enough Jason's birthday will be in the next chapter -_-


End file.
